Jokes On You (Veronica Lodge)

Chapter 1

Everything about me needs crowds, from jokes to illusions I need a crowd to make it realistic. So, the move to Riverdale gave me a whole new audience. A new group of people to try my tricks out on. This whole new audience gives me a whole new group of people to con which means way more money. I could do card tricks or cup tricks I could do all new tricks and if I mess up nobody will know. Except well Virgil.

Wait, where is Virgil? The apartment is way too silent for Virgil to be making her usual mess in the bathroom. Normally I'd hear the foundation drop at least six times. Is she even awake? I walk over to her door and force it open. That's where I found her dead asleep.

"Virgil," I yell at the lifeless body. Nothing happens she doesn't even budge. This girl could sleep through a fire. I yell one more time, but not before I roll my eyes at her.

"Virgil! You'd better get up or we will be late for school," I scream at her causing her body to start moving. She looked confused. Probably confused as to why I'm actually waking her up for school instead of just letting her sleep through it. She groaned loudly before rolling over in her bed.

"Since when do you care about attendance?" She questioned probably half tempted to roll back over and continue sleeping. The past ten years we have only half tried at attending school and now suddenly I'm waking her up and making her go to school on time. How dare I!

"Since today my dear, we're starting Riverdale today and we have to make a good impression," I said with a wink. Today it starts over nobody knows us or our tricks, we can start a whole new reputation, and that alone makes me excited to go to Riverdale High School even if it's just for today. I watched Virgil roll out of bed and stand up. "Well hello there Sleeping Beauty! Get dressed we've got a long day!" I sang while Virgil stumbled around her room.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm driving you right?" She quizzed. I feigned shock.

"Of course, we're Serpents. Serpents stick together," I stated dramatically causing Virgil to roll her eyes. I walk out of her room knowing that she has to get dressed.  I sit dramatically as possible on my bed and begin to contemplate what I'm going to wear today. I'm either going to wear the purple shirt that shows off my boobs, or my green dress. Why is this even a debate the purple shirt for sure.

Once I get the purple shirt on I slide on some black pants and my Serpents jacket. I do my foundation, winged eyeliner, and for dramatics I put on Virgil's dark purple lipstick. By the time I was finished Virgil was headed toward the bathroom most likely to do her makeup.

I sit in my room waiting for Virgil to finish her makeup. I heard the foundation drop six times today, but who's really counting. I head toward the bathroom hoping we will be leaving soon and that's when I overhear her talking to herself. I don't catch much just the very end.

"Queenie, Who are you talking to?" I yelled at her. I always catch her off guard and those are the best moments. Virgil is very amusing when she thinks nobody is paying attention.

"Nobody?" She said, well more like questioned. She finally walked out of the bathroom fully dressed and with a full face of makeup. She gives me one look and a scowl replaces her once emotionless face. She knows what I've done.

"Are you wearing my lipstick?" She questioned. I had to stop myself from cringing up.

"Are you ready to go?" I quiz trying to change the subject from her lipstick. Instead of responding Virgil grabs her backpack and walks out the door. I have to run and grab my stuff to catch back up with her. I quickly shut and locked the door before we head down the stairs.

"God why does there have to be so many stairs in our apartment," Queenie complained. I sigh before continuing the conversation about how much we hate stairs.

"I don't know, Queenie. I truly don't. I don't know why F.P. didn't set us up with an apartment closer to the ground." I complain right back. This is our morning routine wake up and complain about stairs, if we didn't do this it would be a terrible three flights of stairs.

When we got to the ground floor Queenie practically ran to the Volkswagen Beetle that her dad was working on before he died. F.P. finished up for J.D.  and gave the car to Queenie on her 16th birthday which happens to be the same day she named it Mabel.

"Get in loser, we're going to school," Queenie quoted before I opened the door. I laughed at her while getting in the car. Even though we had plenty of time she flew through Riverdale trying her best to drive through every light before it turned red. We pull into the Riverdale High School parking lot a lot earlier then I thought we would.

    Riverdale High School the school every Southside kid knows of but very few actually come to and those that do come usually don't come to do anything legal. A smirk crosses my face as Queenie and I approach the blue and gold school.  Just walking in the buildings you could see the cliques jocks with jocks, pretty girls with pretty girls, and Cheryl Blossom bossing everyone around. I wonder what kind of havoc two serpent girls could cause.

As soon as people saw our jackets they created a hole a space between them and us. They fear us, and I kind of enjoy the fear. Fear, the one thing in Riverdale I could actually work with. I make my way toward a locker where some girl isn't paying attention and slam my hands on it. When she jumps my smile gets wider. Some jocks dare to walk near us, but the minute Queenie or I come near them they flock to the sides like the rest of the school. Now this is the royal treatment.

    The minute Queenie and I walk into the guidance office the entire school returns to normal kids filled the hallway and began walking toward their lockers or friends. On the Southside the kids didn't care half of them had Serpent parents, but I guess here Queenie and I are unique. The good kind of unique. The feared kind of unique.

The guidance counselors fought Queenie and I tooth and nail about our names, demanding we go by our real names, but I was not starting out school with that legacy attached to me. So it took a little convincing from Queenie and a little Serpent influenced fear and they were putty in our hands. Here we will get what we want through fear or persuasion.

They said something about a girl Betty Cooper? I think. She was supposed to give us a tour, but this school isn't that big, how lost could I really get? Besides I don't want or need a babysitter. It didn't look like Queenie wanted one either since she was already at the door before they finished talking.

"So Joker, you ready to get started?" Queenie quizzed her hand on the door. A devilish glint filled my eyes. This was going to be a fun first day.

"Oh Queenie, I was born ready." I sang before shoving the door open. Watching the students flock away from the middle made me even happier. I was really going to like today. Mischievous idea filled my head there are so many things I could do and nobody would really stop me. Except maybe Queenie but that would require me to get really out of hand.

A/N

I don't really have much to talk about down here, so I'm just going to give the reasoning behind the song.

We chose Crusin' For a Bruisin' because it weirdly fits Joker and Queenie's transition from Southside to Riverdale.

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~TC