Have Faith ((Niall Horan-AU)) (Editing)

Chapter 12.

*Previously*

"Oh but there is doctor, I need to know as soon as possible whether or not I can have a family of my own one day. Can we run the test now? Please? I need to know what my future holds."

"Your wish is my command Ms. Lawley." He then turned to his nurse and asked for the testing room to be prepped and ready for him in ten minutes. 

In ten minutes I will know if my future holds children in it. 

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"Are you ready Kylie?" I was lying on a hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling with my fingers crossed around my stomach. The doctor was in front of me, his head between my legs. Some people may take this as extremely awkward and space intruding but not me, I'm just really anxious and nervous, 

"As ready as I'll ever be." I closed my eyes and waited for the wand to enter me, the pain absent as the doctor had warned. Once the wand was in all the way the computer turned on and the image of my insides appeared on the screen. 

"Okay, let's have a look here." My eyes were still closed tightly, I didn't even want to look. I just needed to doctor to tell me everything was going to be okay. That I would be able to have a family of my own one day, a little girl and a little boy is what I had always hoped for. I even planned out what I would name them, Ryder Mason and Alania Skye. Visions of smaller versions of me running around at a park consumed my every thought and being. The sound of my children's giggles and images of their bright smiles clouded my thoughts. "I'm so sorry Kylie," The giggles and smiles faded almost instantly and darkness took their place. 

I didn't even wait for the doctor to say anything more before I sat up and my eyes shot open, letting tears pour out of them. My dreams of having children were gone, my life had taken yet another stab to the heart. I felt like my entire life went from borderline and made its way straight to hell. The doctor gave me his deepest condolences once more before leaving the room, an anxious Niall entering right as he left. "So?"

I just looked at my best friend dead in the eyes, tears still clouding my vision and let out another wail of sadness. "Oh my god Kylie I am so sorry." He didn't even know what to do. Hold me? Tell me everything was going to be alright? Tell me things will get better? It was all lies anyways, he probably knew it. 

So he held me, he held me in a tight embrace as if he would never let go, it was all I needed, all I wanted. "I can't tell you things will get better from here Ky. I can't even tell you what will happen next because it will probably be one big lie. But I do know something, this isn't the end. Not by a long shot. The doctor said we can do treatments, this isn't 100% certain that you can't have kids." 

"Niall don't you see! My life is a living hell on earth. Every time things get even slightly better, every thing that I built up gets a bulldozer straight to it and it all comes crashing down. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like my life is one big mess that can't be fixed. I have missing puzzle pieces that I can't find, pieces that are jagged that don't fit anywhere, pieces that can't be fixed in the first place."

"Dammit Kylie that's not true! You still have me, your best friend that fixed you over a year ago when you thought you lost everything! I thought I could never fix you! Day after day I told myself you were unfixable, but day after day I told myself you were worth everything and I wouldn't give up on you. I didn't give up on you then and I sure as hell won't give up on you now." 

I didn't have another ounce of fight left in me, so I surrendered under his arms and nodded my head. I could feel deep down that he knew this wasn't the end of this conversation, but he let it be, for my sake. He knew that if we talked anymore, I would break down even further.