The Only Portal You Need

(Author's Note: Skip to the ****************************** for the smut part if you don't wanna read the long ass intro.)

To say it kindly, I was getting pretty sick of the apartment I was renting. I was steady in my life, and I decided that I should take some initiative and search for a house to buy. I wanted a change up in my lifestyle, maybe find myself a house out in the country where I could blast my "satanic" music as loud as I wanted, paint the walls black, and have some peace and quiet afterwards. While sitting in my cramped living room, listening to the endless drone of traffic and the smell of smog infecting my respiratory system, I browsed the market for something just right. I came across a small home, very affordable, for sale by owner, and it seemed liked there wasn't really any catches... yet, at least. I was still living alone, so there was nothing to worry about along lines of shitty kids or family members. I contacted the seller, and waited anxiously for a reply.

The next morning, I woke up to a message from the seller informing me of what time to call and get all the information. She was a very nice woman, really old and just looking for someone to take good care of the place since she said she had built herself. She seemed to take well to me just over the phone, which I was glad for. I was afraid if she saw me in person, she wouldn't be so keen, with my tattoos and piercings. However, she said that she trusted me and that we could do an open house, but she would have to just send me the key and I would have to go by myself. I thought this was rather strange, because what if I was some vandal and just wrecked the house or used it for a party? But I guess she could tell I was genuine and just wanted to look around the place. She was also in another state staying with her daughter for care, so it would have been inconvenient to make her come out all this way for a 30 minute walkthrough. She said she would mail me the key and I would have it soon, just drop her a message the day I go to check it out, and mail the key back to her. I was very excited, despite the awkward accommodations. I was already sure that I wanted this house, but I had to see it first.

Three days later, I had the key, and I took the day off work just for the special occasion. The house was about an hour out of town. It sat atop a small knoll with a natural forest clearing surrounding it. I have to admit, being surrounded by forest was kinda scary, but this was a safe part of the wilderness and it was close enough to the city for it to be free of most animals and intruders. For the drive, I decided to bring along my favorite album, Infestissumam by Ghost, and my pocket knife in case I go into some trouble. With the road ahead, I blared Year Zero, Papa's voice drowning my boredom and keeping me excited.

As I pulled into the driveway of the house, I noticed that it looked very well kept for someone not being there to take care of it each day. As I walked up the porch steps, I inhaled deeply. The air smelled heavenly, fresh, and the light scent of pine. I slid the key into the lock, and the door glided open. The bottom floor was very open and spacious, with windows offering amazing views to the surrounding landscape. It was also fully furnished with quite antique, but sturdy, furniture. It smelled oddly floral as well, I expected everything to be a bit musty because of it being closed up and older. I wandered through the home, drinking it all in. This place felt right. I was so glad that I was able to find something so fitting to what I was originally searching for.

I noticed that there was a basement, which was a little unsettling even for a hardcore rational like me. Basements are always creepy as fuck, aren't they? The light switch was at least outside the door so I wouldn't worry about sticking my hand into the darkness or pulling the string. It was pretty well lit, and as I went down, it got freezing cold. I hadn't brought anything more than my Ghost t-shirt so I was eager to be done exploring down there. The basement windows were blocked by the rosebushes planted on the side of the house, so there was no sunlight. The house was recently renovated, so it wasn't completely disgusting down there and the knocking pipes were kept to a minimum. As I was about to leave, I heard a swishing of something on the polished concrete behind me. I immediately pulled out my knife, ready for whatever could be there. Nothing was there, however. "Oh great," I thought, "Of course the catch to this fuckin' place would be that it was haunted... or infested with rats." I left the basement, on edge a tiny bit, but still sure that I was going to eventually move in here.