Isabella's Diary

Dear Diary...pg 5

Dear Diary,
One word....tired.....tired of not seeing the end. Tired of feeling the pain, tired of seeing the blood leaking through my sweatshirt. Tired of tears, tired of every last breath. Tired of the darkness, tired of hearing screams, tired of hearing crying. Tired of running, tired of fighting. Tired of standing, tired of laying. Tired of balancing, tired of falling. Tired of speaking, tired of silence. Tired of people not knowing that I'm tired, tired of trying to show it. Tired of being a mystery, tired of my past, tired of my present. Tired of waiting on my future, tired of acting like everything is okay. Tired of him, tired of loving him, tired of hating him. Tired of wanting him, tired of daydreaming my future with him. Tired of thinking he wants me, tired of my heart beats for him. Tired of staying away from him. Tired of having heart eyes when I see him, tired of not seeing him smile when he sees me. Tired of hearing "why him?" "Wrong choice" "I hate him" "ewww" "no!!!" "Wow you like him?" "That's surprising". Tired of seeing the 'look' when I talk about him, tired of the butterflies in my stomach when I'm near him. Tired of my day is just dark if I don't get a "hi" from him. Tired of him not knowing how I feel about him, tired of him not knowing that I hate him, tired of him not knowing that I love him too. Tired of my craving for him, tired of my headache because I'm thinking about him too much. Tired of him not knowing how many headaches I get each day. Tired of him not knowing how fast my heart beats for him. Tired of people finding out what's going on between us. Tired of people wanting to say something about him around me until I'm done with him. Tired of him not knowing how much he's taking over my life. Tired of wanting to be his wife, tired of thinking that I'm going to be his wife. But just in a word.........tired............
-Isabella