The Way (M.B. #6)

The Windy City

(Reminder: the Dash, the Red Stars, the Courage, and the Thorns are in playoffs and there are three weeks remaining in the NWSL post-season.)

"To make things easier?" Lydia asks while driving and looking onto the dark, empty roads of Houston. "I still don't get it."

It was currently 1:34 A.M. in the morning and Lydia was driving Moe to the airport to drop her off.

"What did I do?" Moe says softly. "It was mutual but I don't know why it was so easy for her to say goodbye."

"I don't think it's what you both did," Lydia speaks up and Moe turns to her.

"It's what you both didn't do."

"I thought I did everything I could. We insisted that we call it quits and it didn't cross my mind that it would be over just like that. There's no way she stopped loving me just like that, it's not like there is a switch that can just do that. Not unless I thought wrong all this time for her loving me."

"Did you fight for her? Did you tell her that you didn't want a break?" Lydia claims.

Moe pauses, "Don't you think I've tried?"

The Australian steps on the break at a red light, "She wanted to skip the fighting and crying between the two of you. She knows how hard it will be for her and you to continue the relationship, if you both aren't happy in it. It was easier for the both of you to do it earlier than later. You wanted to separate didn't you? It wasn't all on her part."

"I know and-"

"Look, no matter how terrible distance is, no matter how much you've talked it through and no matter how much sense it makes for you to go your separate ways, there will always be a crazy, irrational side of us that wants to say "Fuck it" and hold on to each other despite it all. It may seem crazy to salvage a relationship that will be separated by distance but it's crazier still not to try. It's crazy to let a good thing go to waste because one person was too afraid to say the words "I don't want you to go," and the other was too proud to say "I'll stay." It's not easy to swallow your pride, but let me promise you this: No one gets off the plane for the person who didn't ask them to stay. And no matter how proud she may seem, a small part of her wishes you would've."

"Wishes I would've what?" Moe questions.

"That you would've fought for her more. That when she said the words, 'we should take a break' you would have stood your ground and give her a reason to why you should stay together and try to work at least something out. Instead, you let her walk away thinking you didn't want the relationship. You let her think that you didn't care enough to want her back. At the end of the day Moe, you can't let this dwell on you any longer, you need to move on. As much as I don't want to say this because I love you both and I believed your relationship was inseparable, you have to move on. Soon enough, she will too and you just have to accept it."

"Ugh, don't worry, I will. Maybe not yet but someday. You know, I think I'll need a distraction away from relationships."

"Isn't that where soccer comes in?" Lydia raises a brow.

"Well, yeah of course but don't you think some days us players need a mental and physical break? We need to stop breathing and talking about soccer all the time because even though it's our career at the moment, we're not going to be playing when we are 40 years old. I want to get married, start a family, have kids, and live life without having to worry if I made a certain roster or not."

Lydia nods her head in agreement, "You're right but you need to live in the moment too. Don't worry about the future yet because you're missing out on all the fun happening around you. If you can't go to someone or something for comfort-- which I know was Andressa and soccer for you-- please find something else to do. I don't want you unhappy and I'm sure you wouldn't want that either. Learn an instrument, go to an art class, get a puppy and take it out for walks, anything to keep yourself busy."