365 Days Of Summer

The Bucket List

365 Days Of Summer

Copyright©NadineSanchez

All Rights Reserved.

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Chapter Two: Tuesday 13th November

"Good morning, Lily. Are you alright? I mean...you were pretty shaken up"my sweet, sweet mother looked like she was on the verge of a break-down.

Mums ussually warm and happy eyes are puffy, red and rubbed raw.

Her cheeks were tear stained, her clothes crumpled.

I had broken my mummy. My heart throbbed at the thought.

I walked over to her, reached up and wrapped my arms her and gently soothed her. " It will be okay mummy everything will be fine. I love you mummy"

I held her as she cried softly into my shoulder, I decided today we were going to go on a lunch date.

I pull her onto my bed and cradle her as so whimpers into me. Each sob a knife stabbing into my heart and I hate myself more every second she's in pain.

Carefully prying her off me, wiping her tears and squeezing her hand I tell her we were going for lunch at faviourite restraurnt- le petite pois.

She loves that restraurnt because it was called the little pea in French. Makes her smile very time we go there.

"Be ready for two mumzie" I guide her to the door and close it behind myself.

I whirlwind around my bathroom, washing and preparing myself for lunch.

I choose a pretty white summer dress and my fitted leather jacket that matches my black low cut creepers. My legs are bare and have a slight tan from days spent at the skate park with friends.

Mum had to pop out so we're meeting at the restaurant. I'm there first, so I sit on my car through the sun roof. Smoking a roll up and enjoying the sun on my skin warming my naked arms.

The whole dreadful situation hasn't really registered yet. It's not that I'm in denial about my looming terminality.

I don't know what's bothering.

It shocks me that I'm calm about dying. I should be distraught, I should be a mess. But I'm just numb.

Maybe that's what's wrong. I stare at the green painted restaurant and the black swirly French writing finding comfort in the memories of coming here.

But I won't have many memories left...

A sharp pain claws at my heart, my hand flys to my chest, I'm unprepared for the physical pain my emotions flooding back into me causes.

This is unexpected, I didn't think a seven worded sentence could release me from the numbness.

But the onslaught of feelings sends me back to craving the emptiness.

The sun seems to darken in my eyes, the smile falls from my face and reality hits me; hard.

"Lily baby" Mums voice carries through the car park, guilt rushes through me and wiped invisible tears leaving a forced smile on my face.

I slide back into the car, grabbing my jacket and bag and jumping out. Linking mums arms, we walk inside.

She looks so much better than this morning. She's smiling, it's not reaching her eyes but I can tell its real.

We're greeted by a waiter and escorted to a table on the garden. Sitting down and ordering water and wine, I turn to her, curiosity burning me.

"Where have you been today then?" I dip some soft white bread on the oil and vinegar, chewing slowly I wait for her reply. I'm met with a mischievous smile. "Mum, what have you done? You meddling child"

She laughs, a harmonic sound that casts smiles on the surrounding diners.

"Oh Lilpops, you do make me laugh" She sips her blossom hill, dragging out the answer.

"Mum" I whine.

"I was getting something, something very important. For you." She elegantly dabbed at her rose-y lips. "A present to cheer you up" I warm at her thoughtfulness.

"You know you didn't have to mum, it's not my birthday, I'm just-" I stop myself. Remembering where we are and noticing the creases in her frowning forehead.

She takes my hand, sincerity and love in her pain stricken eyes. "I did hun. Because you deserve it, you've been so strong all these years and I know I'm useless and I've failed you. But I wanted you to know I'm so proud of you" tears prick my eyes.

"Mother, don't you ever blame yourself. You've been so strong and caring. Your have been amazing mummy, and this" I lean forward and whisper "cancer" leaning back and returning to a normal pitch, "is not your fault. I know you'd take my place if you could. I love you" I squeeze her hand and this time wipe the real tears of my cheeks.

"Lily Evens, having you as a daughter has been absolute amazing. Your are my world baby girl" she retracts her hands and flips through the menu she probably knows by heart.

We order and the rest of lunch is perfect.

When it finished we stood outside smoking. A cute red blush was on her cheeks from a few too many glasses.

"About this present baby, your friends will explain everything. But this, this is what you need." She smiles as he hands me a weighty brown envelope.

"What's this mum"

She playfully scowls, her little booted feet stomp childishly. "Lily just go, to Kyles house. Their waiting for you." She kisses me on the cheek and pulls her grey wrap around herself and skips off to her car. "And don't open the envelope till your told to" she calls as she gets in and I'm left standing outside by my car with a brown envelope and instructions to go to my friends house.

No questions asked, I did as I was told.

And boy was it worth it.

******

Not finished.