Shine For Me (Official Chreets Series)

Chapter 30

"Thank you Baby...You know who you are...When I'm out on the road stay committed. I just wanna...Thank You..."

(Chris POV)

The crazy rollercoaster I've been on since my album dropped in Nov is wild! I been promoting, performing everywhere, shooting videos, TV shows, been overseas, I even went to the Grammy's! I've been touring with my bro's Trey, Bow and O. It was cool because I got to be with Sweet's almost every day cause she was dancing for O. It's all been going so fast that it's hard to take it all in. Man I even shot my first two movies. One is a dance flick that shows the Krump and battle culture in LA. The other is a Christmas movie I just wrapped up and I was happy I got a chance to hang out with my homie, Mijo. I had him traveling with me for a little bit but he had to go back to LA because of some family stuff.

It's hard trying to focus on school and everything while I'm traveling, now touring and working on my next album. I mean my schedule is crazy. It was also getting hard to make time for Sweet's and I until I started the UCP tour with Ne-Yo. I finally made her my dancer so that we wouldn't be apart but even with that it's getting harder to stay faithful. Don't get me wrong I'm still in love with Sweets and well we get it in on the regular but a nigga just get offered to be taken care of by some fine ass girls, women and celebs!

I don't know man sometimes I just wanna let Sweets go because I don't like having to lie about being single or lie to her because I'm chillin with other females when she's not around but the thought of her being with someone else drives me nuts! I don't know I just get sick of hiding and sneaking around, only being able to do shit as a group so the Paps or the fans won't notice me and her together. I mean I respect Sweets wishes of wanting to keep our relationship private but shit we've been together almost 3 years and I don't really give a damn who knows. But it's not just her tho...The label and Tina are so scared I might lose my female fan base if they find out that I got a serious girlfriend. I'd rather tell them the truth tho than insult their intelligence, I mean they have made me who I am! But I guess it's apart of the job.

I just don't like being a LIAR!

I have been dealing with a lot of guilt lately tho because there has been times I have given into temptation. STUPID...I KNOW! But what the hell was I supposed to do tho? I wanna tell Sweets but I know that would be the end of us. She made it clear that cheating was the only thing that would make her leave me but I can't...I can't lose her. I mean I'm sorry for it I really am. I mean how can you blame a 17 year old that got a 26 year old wanting to suck his dick huh? Or somebody like Rob who is making it real clear lately she want a brotha for herself! If you say you wouldn't you lying...

Right?

I know all this rationalizing was all a way to fool myself into not feeling bad but at this point it was all I could do so that I wouldn't lose Sweets. She's my world, my best friend and I can't see myself without her.

"Alright Chris we are gonna run that take back...go whenever your ready." I heard him say from the booth.

"The dumbest decision I made that I ain't proud of

A few hours that meant absolutely nothin cost me your love

I gotta live with regret deserve to get what you give

Now you won't listen to nothin that I'm saying..."

DAMAGE: Performed with Honey (Sweets) live:

I had been working with The Runners and they were an amazing team. They helped me put into words what had been happening with me lately. I sang the words that I had wrote and I was hoping Sweets would get the message and maybe I would be telling her without having to tell her myself. All I know is I had to get it off my chest. When I finally got out the booth it was hard for me to even look her in the eye.

"Baby you ok?" She asked me.

"Um yeah yeah I'm cool." I said still trying to avoid her glance.

"You ready to go?" She asked grabbing my hand.

"Yeah...Aight ya'll I'm out." I threw up the deuces to the guys.

When we got outside I seen her with an expression I didn't recognize.

"I don't know how to even say this to you but-" I stopped her.

"Baby please let m-" I pleaded.

"No let me just say this ok...Before I lose my nerve." She said nervously stopping which made me concerned.

"Ok go ahead." I said as she took a deep breath and blew it out closing her eyes.

"Um...Ok you know how I've been sick with the flu right." She said trying to avoid eye contact.

"Yeah...What's up?" I asked even more concerned cause she had been sick with the flu for about a week and a half. She missed some our shows and was finally getting better.

"Well it's not the flu...I'm...I'm 3 months pregnant Chris." She whispered.

WHAT??

"Wait...What?" I asked as my head began to spin.

"I'm pregnant." She repeated "I can't believe this is happening right now..." She said leaning her head back on the wall of the studio.

"Wait...How did this happen?" I questioned trying not to pass out.

"Umm I don't know maybe when we were fucking in one of those random places and times you seem to love so much without a condom because you hate them." She fired sarcastically. "How the hell do you think?"

"But I thought you were on birth control!" I said starting to really panic.

"Well my doctor thinks it happened when I switched birth controls so that I wouldn't get sick from them so much...So I guess that's when I got pregnant." She admitted.

"Oh shit..." I said sliding down the wall and sitting down because I felt like I was gonna throw up.

"We can't have a baby Chris...Your life is going so good right now. You got your new album, movies, tours so this can not happen!" She said starting to drop tears and rubbing her still flat stomach."Maybe...Maybe we can just get rid of it you know...Before anybody finds ou-"

"WHAT? NO! You crazy if you think we getting rid of my baby...Uh uh it's not happenin!" I said finally standing back up.

"Chris listen...I'm not trying to mess your life up at 17!" She said wiping her face.

"You're not messin up anything aight...and so what...What my age gotta do with it? I'm not abandonin my child in any way...Fuck that! So get that abortion shit out your head Sweets." I said pissed that she was even considering having an abortion so I walked off towards the SUV.

"What is your label gonna say or even worse your Mom huh? Chris she is gonna hate me forever!" She said with tears going down her face.

"I don't give a damn what they think! We're a family now and I'm gonna take care of ya'll so nobody else's opinion fucking matters." I said grabbing the sides of her face and kissing her slowly. "I got you ok?" I said looking into her eyes.

"But I'm scared Chris...I don't know if I can do this..." She said honestly.

"We will get through this together Baby...Now I ain't sayin I'm not scared out of my mind right now but we gonna get through it." I said kissing her forehead and hugging her.

"I love you." She said squeezing me tighter.

"I love you too." I said holding her.

What just happened...