You ever wish that people understand everything you thought about. Everything that you said made perfect sense not only to you but to everyone else. Constantly finding myself explaining my thoughts to people even though they don't care and don't understand. I know you've felt this way, so don't lie.
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Sometimes i feel like when i leave the room and all i can see is myself, and no one else i think to myself, am i the only one thats exists right now. Because i cant see anyone else, are they all frozen right now. In space, in time, completely useless until i come in and they continue their scenes. Again if u don't follow, thats the whole point of the first paragraph.
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I always find myself asking these questions, questions that aren't even possible to the human knowledge. Questions that even if i knew the answers to, it still wouldn't make sense. Things like, why do we have emotions? Feelings why do they matter? Why do i constantly feel for the same person, even though i know they will hurt me? All of these questions probably give you the sense that I am clearly talking about a person. Not any person. But someone who has been made and put on this earth, and i being a human being showing emotional affection towards them. Why? What makes them so interesting? If they don't even show they care back, whats the point?
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We all have this sense of "matter". Who we matter to. Why we matter to them. And if we don't matter enough whats the point in trying. We all subconsciously want to matter to someone. Parents, no thats not enough. Someone who doesn't know you the way your family does. You want to matter to someone who's "worth it." Someone who everyone knows about. Honestly its awful. WHY? Why were we made to want these stupid things? Why can't we fo us on school, and sports, and book club. Why do we as people care so much what others think. Its mind blowing actually.
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Ever feel alone? How is it possible to live on an earth with 2 Billion people, and still feel "lonely". Is it attention? Do we seek attention? Do we want to be noticed, it not we feel this loneliness. I know i have. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. Honestly i feel lonely everyday. Even though i know i have friends. I know that they are there for me. But yet i still feel lonely, isolated, deserted from the rest of the universe. Because why? Im different. Out of 2 Billion people. There is NO ONE like me. We were all made uniquely and different. Sometimes its hard to realize 2 Billion people with 2 Billion different finger prints.
All with completely different mid sets and goals. Whats the point. How does it end?
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