Welcome To My Life

    When I was five years old my daddy died. My mother was unfaithful prior to his death. She should have been the one home by his side. But instead he died on their bed while she was out having a good time with one of her many boyfriends. He died with his right hand in both of my little girl hands. We didn’t know cancer was what he was fighting until earlier that day when the results came back. He had been sick for a few weeks and even though I was young I knew his end was drawing nearer.

    My mother didn’t even flinch when I told her he had died. She asked me where his body was and I told her I had called an EMS to pick it up… she then yelled at me because it cost her for his ride there, even though he was deceased. No tears, no pain, not even a prayer for him. She just told me to go to bed and stay there. Then she had a different boyfriend come over.

    At the age of seven, I noticed she had one man who came over more than others. He became a bigger part of her life and soon was the only man she saw anymore. He is a mean, nasty, forceful, and terrible person. Three months after they met he became my stepfather. Even at a young age I knew he was a bad man. He was terrible to my mother in the first two years of their marriage until they went to counseling. I would have dreams about him beating both my mother and me. When I was almost nine my mom had to work late so it was just my stepfather and I home. I was up in my mothers room, which she gave to me because mine was bigger, the same room where my daddy died, when my stepfather walked in. He shut the door and told me to sit down. I thought he had bad news but instead he simply told me to take my shirt off. Being young I just did as he said. He didn’t do anything to me, just stared at my naked chest and then walked out.

    That night, before my mother got home, dinner burnt. My stepfather screamed at me and blamed me for it. I cried and apologized over and over. Then I was sent to my room without dinner. Before I went to bed Jeff came in and kissed me goodnight and told me he loved me. He kissed my forehead and then my little lips. I could hear my mother and him in the room below mine that night. I ended up crying myself to sleep.