Why do I live
Everyday with these memories
When in the end they don't matter?
My mind and heart and soul will just shatter
from them anyway so what gives?
I open my eyes wishing they were closed
I lay here wondering what life would be if i just chose
a different path
But what happens in the past stays
and will always be there rusting me away
and that just might make
me more of a monster than I already am
Why can't I just change
from my state
of mind, distract the pain, delay it
Why won't it just quit
All these thoughts
And leave me alone, damn I wonder
What life would be if I chose
Differently.
Living life one breath at a time
God, then I keep finding my conscious in pieces
Life keeps cheating
me, other lives telling me "I'll fix this"
No you won't, because if you did,
I wouldn't be lying here in this
uncomfortable bed
Chasing these thoughts back and forth
through my head
Wishing I were motionless. ~
