Crazy For You...

(03)Chilling Outings

*life is a song,sing it in your own*

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Shradha Hashim

Its very cold outside, but I'm totally loving it. feel like craving to go out but dont think it's that easy,when you have a mom like mine!!! This is our holiday week,so no college. Completely boring and yeah!I'm so interested in studies!I'm that type of a girl whom you can always find with a book...and seriously i can't help it, books are my world.....they are the only way to get rid of this reality...reality that most likely sucks...i have lived such an enclosed life so far,less tours,few friends and had just focused on studies throughout every year.i know it sounds boring ...but I'm used to it anyways.

       I have heard people talking about how different i am,how foolish of a girl i am to live such an organised life at such a young age, instead of having fun around like others...indirectly they call me insane,but i never mind them and their ramblings...though my heart clenches at every word they mean ,honestly i don't blame them because those daggers like words, aimed at me were utterly true...and as i have said before 'truth' mostly hurts.

I have completed my projects so early and i had nothing to do at all...today my boredom strikes full and i have other ideas running in my head,what about reading an Adventure filled book with hot chocolates and snacks!?that's my first thought and yes!!that's awesome.

     I have organised a little home library in my room...every book in there is so close to my heart!maybe because i have read them over and over again,!so that those characters and story lines got stuck in my head helplessly....i was about to go upstairs to my room to gather some books to read but something in me told that it's not going to help me anyways...because my mind wants to explore something new...explore a little bit of outside...but it's raining and i don't think mom would let me go out...it's freezing cold...anyways i went to my room and flopped over my little cozy bed..wondering about a plan to go out...what about the city library?it's been a long time since i went there last...it's not that far!just two miles from here,not a bad idea at all.

The air feels so fresh and the urge to go out is so strong.so i couldn't deny the fact that my mind is over a small battle whether to stay behind and have a staring contest with my room wall or just get ready and go for a chilling outing and enjoy!anyways the latter wins.

I got changed into my favourite long white top with pink embroidery, matching it with a pink legging and a soft pink shawl..and after many tries, i managed to wrap this shawl, covering all necessary parts. Alhamdulillah!  quickly went with some lip gloss and a light touch of mascara,satisfied with my look i smiled like an idiot in front of mirror...im not such a crazy makeup person but i don't totally hate it,because the better we look,the better we move...
! so i usually go light on it.....

Before stepping out of my room,i looked at my reflection for one more time!everything is in right place,when i was about to leave i felt that something is missing. And then it strikes! My watch!. Yeah I'm crazy about it from the time zara gifted it to me!.Zara is my childhood friend, my bestie.she had gifted me so many at every possible occasions!but this is the one that stole my heart! It's a simple watch,a wrist watch and i love it from the start.

I found it in my drawer.thank you so much Allah! for not making my search any harder.stepping into my white sneakers,i slowly made my way towards the front door!! . All the way I'm looking at my moms room,hoping she's fast asleep and i don't think i can go anywhere in this cold weather,with her permission!!. I'm so sorry Allah,if this is wrong.Asthaghfirullah!! I haven't got any options...so this is it.

When i was about to open the front door,i heard someone clear their throat!i froze in my step ...Yeah i am!!who do you think it is!??the person i least expected to see!.i slowly turned around but my eyes are glued to the floor, i don't even have the courage to look straight. She's standing right infront of me with her arms crossed.you know!!I'm not actually scared of my mom but I'm feeling guilty out of nowhere. I agree that i haven't committed any crime here, but my conscience says otherwise.

"When did you learn to sneak out like sheza!?" she asked with her voice calm and it startled me..Sheza is my only sister, two years younger than me,i am nineteen.i was a bit shaken by this,my mom always considered me as a sensible and a responsible daughter but i dont think hereafter she'll trust me.

And to tell about sheza, she's actually a tomboy. Never cares about anything or anyone!let it be even mom.she has her own policy!!that doesn't mean she's a spoilt one,she behaves like a child,that's it. Whenever she gets into trouble, It's me ,she comes for first!! and I'll go for any extent to save my only sister.huh!!Now who's gonna save me from my dearest mom?.

"Sorry ma!"i managed to mumble with tears brimming my eyes. "I should have as-ked yo-you,please forgive me maa!".those words left my mouth before my brain could form a decent excuse!I couldn't think properly,i felt weak,vulnerable and moreover guilty,my vision blurred,hot tears started to burn my cheeks and the next moment i could remember, i was in her arms crying like a baby.!

I hate it that everytime i open my mouth to speak...to justify my acts or just to confront...these stupid tears starts to flow from nowhere and leave me speechless and defeated for most of the time...

Mom tried her best to calm me down. "Shradha ma,listen! i was just joking and you haven't done anything wrong" she said and attempted to wipe away my nonstop tears. But i couldn't stop it .

"ma! just tell me,!tell me,that you will trust me!! no matter what!?"i managed to say inbetween sobs.

"Cheer up!!i trust you shradha,no matter what..."she said and hugged me again.

"I dont think, you want to go with puffy red eyes,right shradha!?"
mom asked with a hint of mischief.

But i missed her point,i was so emotionally pulled,that i snuggled closer to mom,holding her for my dear life...slowly relief started to wash over my aching senses...as we all know the best medicine in the world is a mothers hug,no wonder that I'm feeling much better in her embrace.though it took me sometime to process her words.

I was stunned! What did she just say!!? "Momm...does that mean, I'm free to go now!?"uncertainty filling my voice and what not?still sobbing in her arms."Your free to go anytime child,...she cups my face with her hands and continues,"but if you're going somewhere new, care to explain...okay!?" With that a tear rolled down her cheeks !i wiped it away and took her hands in mine.

          "Mom i promise ! I won't go!!,i won't go without your knowing to any unfamiliar places...!and i hugged her tightly."Ma, i love you soo much!! you're so sweet and i don't know how much i have to thank Allah (swt) for blessing me with a mom like you!".i finish in one breath!
               "Okay!okay,calm down dear,now wipe your tears please,set your shawl straight and goo...
dont waste your time standing here..." mom demands and winks.

She almost pushed me towards the door! as i have lost my mind !ufff!i still couldn't believe what just happened between us but moreover it's so clear that my mom trusts me a lot and I'm relieved to a greater point but at the same time fear creeps it's way too..as per the saying 'too much of anything is good for nothing'..

"Fee Amanillah!baby ma...she says and stands by the door till i exit the gate.that's it and yepp! I don't have a car to pop in.hmm sad!.but anyways i don't know to drive,so things are easy this way..:)

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Fee amanillah- take care and may Allah(swt) protect you...

Is this chapter good or boring?
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Remember guyzz!!this is the same day which zain has gone to office!what do you think coming next?huh??
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