Chapter 1:
I woke up with a bizarre headache. The clock read 7:00 a.m. and all the thoughts of the previous night came tumbling back. My life was a mess but hope never dies. There was flicker of hope that today John and Lacy would come and apologize to me. The chances were one in a million after seeing their behavior last night. Pushing all the thoughts aside, I get up. School starts at 8:30 a.m. I still have half an hour to waste. I think there was no harm on arriving at the school at 8 a.m.
Shower is the only thing that I seem to enjoy these days. The hot water poured on my body and the result was exhilarating. Today the school was going to be different, an intuition that set me off thinking. Sadly, showers cannot last forever. I put on a plain black top and green-colored jean. Leaving my hair open was something I did not personally like, so I wore it up after a long time.
“Mom, I am leaving.”
“Eat your breakfast first.”
Ugh. Breakfast time. Gulping down the glass of milk and grabbing my car keys, I stepped out. The weather was calm and compassionate. Soft breeze was blowing and the faint glow of the sun made it all better. Well, driving with the window open is going to be fun today. I really admired my car. It was maroon ish in shade and had an amazing glow. My car was old but it was the best companion that I had so far. I sat and took off to the destination I wanted to stay away from the most.
Wandering in the empty corridors of the school made me elate with unexpected joy. With all the stuff going on, this was not the thing that I had expected. I had a sudden temptation to visit the elementary campus and relive the moments that were left behind. I ran my hands through the walls as tears weld up in my eyes. Tears that made me happy and sad. Memories that made my heartache and the joyous ones that made me forget reality.
“Never thought you would be up here.”
“Radalf?”
Radalf was a friend or now a stranger from elementary school. I wanted to be alone. Nevertheless, I would not mind enjoying a company of a stranger-friend. His expression was puzzled and he was mildly surprised.
“I thought you would not come to school today.”
“Why would you think so?”
“After the incident of last night...” His voice trailed off, not mentioning what happened. How quickly gossip spreads. Tears seemed like an inevitable part of me. My eyes were watery and my expression was clearly of sadness and betrayal. I could not comprehend my movements and the only thing I remember that I ran off- towards my car. I did not have the guts to face anyone, and let everyone laugh at my miserable fate. I came out of the car when the first bell rang.
Stares are one thing, which I cannot handle and tend to avoid. People are whispering around me, as I am some kind of freak show. For the first time in my school life, I walk alone to the class. No one actually bothers to come and say, “Hi”. It hurts. It hurts so bad that I want to jump off a cliff right now or hide in the corner of my bedroom and cry myself to sleep and never wake up. My life had been perfect and in just a matter of hours, everything changed. Change is inevitable but when something changes for the worst-, it crushes you inside. I want my life back again so I pretend that nothing has happened.
Instead of going to the class, I walk up to Lacy and John. Seeing them together burns me up inside but I decide not to show it and greet them with a smile.
“Hello both of you.”
“Oh! Hi.” Lacy speaks with no hint to guilt in her voice. However, yeah, awkwardness is difficult to avoid. I just smile and hope that they behave normal around me and not again spill my home secrets in front of everyone. I decide to take the conversation forward without trying to mention what happened last night.
“How are you?”
“We have been fine, Stella.” Hearing John say my name is like a tornado hitting me on the face very hard. Then the reality dawns into me. Their facial expressions clearly state that they want to be alone or anywhere but not with me.
“So yeah. See you later.” I was very formal in my attitude towards them but no matter how hard I try, I cannot shake that off.
I take my books and walk hurriedly towards my class to avoid everyone’s glaring eyes. The glaring eyes showed very little of sympathy from them and the rest was of disgust. Sympathy and disgust, the only two things I needed.
English classes are always fun and interesting. Reading books and writing down your thoughts on a sheet of paper has always ceased t excites me but not today. Today was different from rest of the days. Today was dark and a gloomy day that was scarier than the stillness of the night. I knew that no one would even come and sit beside me. I start taking out my books, and put on my reading glasses and I was lost in the ocean of words that surrounded me and cut off my connection from the world while I read Looking for Alaska by John Green.
The screeching of chair beside me disturbed me. Radalf came sat beside me. It was shocking. Why him? However, something is better than nothing is.
“I need to what exactly happened yesterday.” Well, it is my life and it is none of his business. Nevertheless, I cannot avoid his direct question to me and I wanted someone to talk . I can’t believe I am doing this.
“Yesterday was a disa-“
“Good morning class. Hope you had a fine weekend.” I was happy than Mr. Gilman had interrupted.
