THOUGHTS | PARK JIMIN [ on hiatus ]

|| 3 ||

This is it. It's today.

I made myself just a bit more acceptable looking. I wore my red high-cut converse to match with the skirt and tie of my uniform. And I grabbed my favourite black hoodie. Then I made my way out of my house. I see my aunt cooking breakfast and my uncle drinking, already drank 6 bottles of soju.

I looked at the house for the last time. It was fairly big, walls painted a cream colour. I had all the material things. Money, a good house, food, everything. I didn't need all of that, all I needed was love, and no one gave me that. I tried to love everyone, but in result, I just end up getting hurt. No one gives me back the love I've given them, not knowing why. But soon, all the pain would be gone. And that's the only thing that mattered.

I entered the school with the bright smile on my face. Other students gave me puzzled looks, knowing that this was the first time they saw me smile. This was the first time in years I've ever smiled that brightly. But one student only wanted to wipe the grin off my face. Kim Seoyeon.

As we made eye contact in the hallway, walking opposite ways. I just continued walking, walking pass her, as if nothing happened.

But she pulled my arm, turning me around, and causing all my wounds to open.

"Hey, Song Minseo! Who do you think you are?! I'm sure you know who I am! How dare you just pass by me! I'm the most popular girl in school!" she shrieked.

"Who gives a shit." I yanked off my arm from her grip, blood dripping on the floor. I gave her one last look and spat on her face.

I was the best I ever felt about myself, adrenaline rushing through my body. So I ran, I ran to the rooftop. I sat there, listening to the cars passing by. I figured that I should write to Mr Park so he would know where I would be.

I grabbed my bag and and got a pen and a piece of paper. And I started writing.

Dear Mr Park,

I know you might be confused as to why I'm writing a letter to you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay and that you don't need to worry about me. I'm off to a better place. The pain would be over by today. So don't cry for me. I'm not worth your tears. I've always thought of you as a big brother to me. So I want to thank you for that. Thank you for being the most understanding person I've ever met. Thank you for always staying by my side even if it's just once a week. Thank you for everything that you've done for me. Thank you Park Jihyuk.

Love,
Song Minseo

I folded the piece of paper in half and made my way to my lessons.
_________________________________________

The bell rang, indicating that its the end of school. I hurriedly went to Mr Park's desk to and placed the letter on it and dashed out of school. I was on my way. This is the day I've always waited for.

I went to my favourite bridge, Busandaegyo.

I sat down on the edge of the bridge, my feet dangling above the water. I sat there in silence, enjoying the sunset. I waited for about 15 more minutes until I stood up.

"This is it." I said to myself.

"Goodbye everyone."

I took a deep breath and I jumped, I jumped off the bridge. I felt the sea breeze hit my face as I was falling, my hair all over my face. I couldn't care less about my appearance right now.

I was in the water. I felt the water sting my open wounds, I never would have thought pain would feel so right. I took a last look around, blood from my wounds mixing in with the water. I was squirming around as I lost my breath, until finally the darkness consumed me.

'Did I make the right choice?'