thoughts

tick tock tick tock
the second hand of the clock moved slowly
the quiet classroom
what's the point
i didn't understand anything
i'm hopeless, dumb, stupid

worthless useless
my chair screeched against the floor
i left school
no one noticed me
it was not like they cared
i was in my own world
only dependent on me, myself and i

i unlocked the door
glass bottles strewn all over the floor
i knew what was going to happen

slaps, shouts, blood trickling down my lips
it was normal for me
there were bruises were hidden under my sleeves
scars were all over my body
things that nobody knew
things they never saw

strangers were always coming in and out
new people entered his room
she was just too blinded by love
convincing herself nothing was wrong
although knowing what you do behind her back
she kept silent
struggling to piece together this broken family
there was a missing part of this puzzle
that will never be found
our family will never be complete

i locked myself in my room
curling up into a ball
why was my life like this
i wanted to be like those children
playing out there
smiling, laughing
it has gotten to a point where those words seemed alien to me
i've never felt happiness in a long time

i wanted to give up
leave this world
one step, one cut
it was so simple
but i was scared of the pain it brought
so i was still here
living in actual hell

i lived in darkness; black and white
sadness
while others saw colours, felt different emotions
warmth, love

maybe things were better this way