The Pepper's of Hell

It's been a week since I arrived. At first it was kind of different, after all you don't expect to see souls fighting over peppers when you first arrive in hell. The strange thing was that these peppers were all over the place and as the days went on I became aware of why the souls were fighting. Lucky for them I was an entrepreneur back on earth."Step right up, step right up. What kind of peppers would you like?" Of course, as usual, it wanted one of the ones that weren't as hot. It was very difficult to start a business in hell, especially one that dealt in peppers. But as it turned out, some of these souls actually preferred the hot peppers and were even willing to trade their 'not-as-hots' as they were called, for them. Two days into my attempt at starting this business I discovered something interesting. The souls usually found the kind of peppers they didn't like. I decided to test this theory by changing what I liked from day to day. It was difficult but it worked and afterwards the whole venture became much easier.Today was different, I was visited by Satan himself. It was extremely clear who he was and why he was here, but I hadn't come this far to be told to stop by the lord of death. "What kind of peppers would you like?" I asked him without skipping a beat. He stopped in his tracks looking more than a little surprised. "What do you mean? I don't want any peppers, I don't even like peppers." His voice boomed as it echoed across the fields around us. "Then if you don't mind me asking, why are you here? You are holding up the line and disrupting business." I pointed behind him at the line that was forming. He started to say something but looked behind him and seen the line. "I've come to ask you to stop, you are upsetting the balance across the seven plains. Other souls have started up similar shops. A whole economy is forming." I couldn't believe it. "You mean I have competition! I guess I'll just have to lower my prices." He started to get angry. "No! You don't understand, you have to stop. I can't have this happening. You are making it too easy for the souls, this is hell, souls are supposed to be miserable!" Suddenly, I had an idea. "Well maybe we can work this out a different way? How about we make a deal?" I finally had the upper-hand I could ask for anything I wanted. He looked visibly disturbed, he had no way out of this. "What kind of deal?" "I want out of here, you can either send me back to earth or to paradise. Either way, I am tired of hell. Like you said, It's getting too easy here."