I scream. Papyrus rushes to my room and comforts me. It goes by too fast and soon, when I'm alone again, I start drowning in self-hate. Before I can think straight, I'm walking down the dark hallway, into the kitchen, and over to the knives. I pick up the one I know is the sharpest and I begin to cut my radius. Deep. Deeper. Deeper. I cut until I collapse from lack of strength. I barely have enough energy to put the knife back, using my magic, and teleport to my room.
"unnghh," I groan. I'm content, for now. Soon though, the weight of what I had just done comes crashing down on me. "nononono.. papyrus didn't want me to.. but i did anyway, and, oh god.." I begin to sob loudly. Eventually Papyrus comes in, again, to see what's wrong. Once he sees me, he stops, eyebrows furrowing in worry.
"Sans?" He asks quietly, "Can I see your arm?" I don't resist, or move at all, when he begins to examine my arm. "Sans.."
"i-i'm sorry! please don't hate me!" I wail.
"Sans, I could never hate you. Come here," he cuddles me. We stay like that for a few minutes, me sobbing into his scarf, and him hugging me, whispering comforting words into where my ear would be, until I calm down. "Let's get you cleaned and healed," he eventually says.
"okay," I reply, tired from my emotional outburst, but not wanting to sleep, knowing that nightmares will be there to greet me. He picks me up. "p-pap?" I ask, face blue. "watcha doin'?"
"YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY TIRED, SO I WILL CARRY YOU!" He says, back to his normal tone. Thank God.
"y-you don't have to."
"NONSENSE! IT IS MY DUTY AS A BROTHER AND A BOYFRIEND!"
"b-b-boyfriend?" I stutter.
"YES!" He pauses, "we are together, right?"
"yeah, o-of course! it's just so new to me.."
"It is new to me as well," he kisses the top of my head, "but I believe we can make it."
"heheh, yeah. i love you," I give a genuine smile, light blush on my cheekbones,
"I love you too, Sans," he smiles back, "now to go clean you up!"
"'kay."
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"SO SANS, TELL ME ABOUT THESE 'RESETS'," I stiffen.
"uh.. they're.. they're basically like time loops, i guess? each choice we make creates different timelines which all have different outcomes. the ki-frisk can make these by essentially going back in time using their 'determination'. in some of those they spare us all, like in this one, but in others they kill some and in some, they get possessed by the demon child, chara. chara then kills every monster they can get their hands on. each of these create different timelines and even more branch off of those. somehow i can remember them.. they're the main cause of my nightmares.." I finish.
The room is quiet for a while. I begin to clench my eyes closed, tears threatening to fall. "i'm sorry.." I whisper, unable to look at him. "i-i'm so sorry.." I feel tears starting to go down my face. Weak. "i'msorry. i'msorry. i'msorry. i'msorry," I repeat over and over again, slowly gathering magic to teleport away.
Papyrus finally moves, hugging me. "Sans, you don't have to apologize. It's not your fault."
"b-but aren't you mad?"
"No, I couldn't be mad at you." I choke on a sob.
"i'm s-sorry.." I finally hug him back.
"Why are you apologizing?"
"i-i wasn't ab-ble to stop it-it."
"It's okay, Sans. What matters is us, right here, right now."
"ghhh.." I continue crying for what feels like hours.
"Sans, are you still awake?"
"yeah."
"I just remembered, Lady Toriel has invited us to dinner at her house tonight. Do you want to go?" Papyrus asks.
"mm.. yeah." I slowly get out of his lap and go over to my dresser and pull out a white t-shirt. I begin to take off the shirt I'm currently wearing, then I hear a cough from behind me. My face goes blue, immediately putting my shirt back on, turning around to an orange-faced Papyrus. "uh.." He starts walking to me. The clank of teeth-on-teeth is audible in the silent room and I find myself slowly melting into the kiss.
Some minutes later we pull away, gasping for air. "I, uh, better get ready," he says before leaving the room.
"yeah."
I sigh. Papyrus really is perfect, isn't he?
