Darker than black

Prologue

The moon shined its last light in the cloudless sky .

The black water that seemed so cold could
embrace me like no one else could
Instead of slapping me with cold water it could put it's arms around me and hug me to death .

That's what I thought as I looked down at the water , my thoughts wavering back and forth arguing to each other .

If I let go what happens, I thought . Would anyone take care of my stuff back home ? I had left my book wide open to the last page , the corner was folded .

The ice I had dropped in my freshly poured coke must have melted by now .

It has been 4 hours since then. I didn't know it would take this long .
Is this what goes through other people's heads when they are in my situation ?

Why am I thinking so much when the water is so close I can feel it already touching my lungs .

I have nothing else to live for , my hair will disappear in a matter of weeks , I don't want to live like a breathing corpse .

If I don't kill myself , my own body will kill me.
Yeah , that's right .

It's my fault , I'm the one to blame . My demons are eating me away ,
And this time I'm not fighting back.

So many regrets filled her scrambled mind in desperation to find the perfect excuse to jump . Her mind raced like a race car trying to find its finish line .

Why didn't I ever at least make out with a guy I never even knew , or -or get drunk at a cheesy college party.

At least pop a bottle of champagne in New Years with a couple of friends ?

Now I'm gonna go somewhere , at least it's not my hospital bed .At least I won't have to get those horrible shots everyday , that stinged like a son of a bitch .

Finally I don't have to watch my friends live such a long life having fun without me ;

The world is so beautiful , yet I'm over here rotting all by myself .

She looked at the stars and counted several of them standing on her tip toes . She looked at how they shined so brightly , as if they were showing off just for her .

She felt a tear slide down her face in defeat . And she smiled for the last time as she pretended  to capture a star with her palms .

" you're coming with me " her voice croaked with pain .

she put the imaginary star in her pocket and let go of the railings .