It's 4 in the morning and I just can't get to sleep. I can't stop thinking about Brad kissing me, and I don't know how I feel so I don't know what to do about it. I enjoyed it, it felt nice, but it's probably not healthy- I have no idea what the deal between me and Corey is now, and it's weird that I enjoyed kissing my friend. He was drunk, he really had no idea of the implications until afterwards.
When I got into bed the first thing I did was cry. I needed to get all my emotions out, and I was hoping that I'd be able to cry myself to sleep, but it didn't work. I pretended to he asleep when Brad came to check on me as I didn't want him to see me in such a vulnerable state. That would have made things much worse, and they're bad enough already.
I really want to go and get Brad so we can talk it all out, but this time in the morning is really no time for that kind of conversation. I pull my knees up as I sit up in bed, and I'm then surprised to find myself crying. I shouldn't have many tears left, but somehow they keep coming. Luckily there's no one here to see it, so I can bawl in peace until I feel a bit better. It usually helps a little bit, physically getting all my emotions out.
I'm suddenly startled by the door creaking open- I guess I spoke too soon about being alone. I look up with tear filled eyes to see Brad stood there looking concerned. "Tris?" he asks gently. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine." I whisper, even though I'm clearly not.
Brad comes over wordlessly and sits beside me on the bed. "Why are you crying?"
I wipe my eyes with the palms of my hands. "I don't know how I'm feeling." I say honestly. "About earlier."
Brad reaches over to place a hand on my shoulder. "I'm really sorry about that." he says quietly.
"It's ok." I reply. "I'm kind of overreacting-"
Brad cuts me off. "No you're not. You have every right to be upset."
"I'm not upset as such." I say. "I should be, but I'm not." A small hint of a smile appears on Brad's face, like he knows something I don't. He doesn't say anything though, and we just sit in a silence. Eventually I say "I'm sorry for waking you up. I should get back to sleep."
"You should." Brad agrees, still with the smile on his face. "Night Tris."
He gets up and is just leaving when I say "Wait..." He turns around and I say "Can you stay with me?" It's embarrassing really- I needed him a few days ago, and here I am again. Luckily, he nods and gets into bed beside me. I breathe a sigh of relief- he doesn't hate me, at least not yet.
We lie there in the dark together and for a while I think he's asleep, until I hear him whisper "Tris, is it ok if I tell you something?"
"Of course it is." I reply quietly.
Brad pauses for a second before saying "I liked kissing you earlier." I don't reply at first- I had no idea that he felt that way, and hearing him say that lets me accept that I liked it too.
I don't want to just leave him hanging, so I blurt out "Me too."
Brad looks up with a genuine look of surprise on his face. "Really?" I nod, not really knowing what to say. Luckily, Brad does. "At least it's less awkward now." he jokes. "But I think now is the wrong time to have this conversation. We're tired and you're upset, it wouldn't be right."
"Tomorrow?" I ask quietly, and Brad nods.
"Yeah." he says sleepily. Then he adds "I'm glad you liked it though. You've been through enough, I don't want to make you feel worse." I smile at him, and then he's asleep before I know it. It's quite peaceful watching his chest rise and fall, and it takes my mind off my feelings.
As I sit there watching him sleep, I become more and more aware of how much I like him. He's been so nice, and he's so funny and kind that it genuinely shocks me because he's so different to Corey, and this is what love is meant to feel like. Brad snuggles closer to me in his sleep, and I find myself wrapping my arms around him. I have to resist the urge to press a kiss to his forehead though. I begin to feel tiredness coming, and finally begin to drift off, for once looking foward to the day that follows.
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I liked this one a lot, please vote and comment if you did too!
I'm stressed about the tour dates being announced tomorrow, and whether I'll get tickets and when they'll go on sale 😂 I'm also already stressed about Taylor's tour which hasn't even been announced yet for the same reasons (this is why I'm doing bad at a levels lmao)
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Piano Man (Tradley au)
Fanfic'He knows that it's me they've been coming to see to forget about life for a while' Or, the one where Brad plays the piano at a smoky bar, and Tristan escapes to said bar to get away from life.
