Cannabis

Chapter 13

It was exactly 7:45 in the morning when I woke up. I sat up on the bed and then, I found myself nude. And it took me a few moments to recall what happened to me last night.

I still couldn't believe that my father had raped me...

I remained sitting on my bed, motionless, blank and without a thought. I even lacked the energy and state of mind to think a way out of my hellish state of affair. I felt a strong rush of melancholia devour every single piece of my fallen soul.

I somehow managed to get off the bed and walked straight into the bathroom. Closing the door, as I proceeded to grab my toothbrush, my eyes fell on my reflection on the bathroom mirror, broken, traumatized and tortured.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was tousled and my eyes seemed to have lost all the lustre in just the course of one night. There was still a throbbing pain in my abdomen, a result of the gruesome molestations of last night. The most hideous were the bruises his teeth left on selected areas of my exposed skin as a proof of his ownership over my body, seeing which, I wished to disappear from the face of this earth in mortification.

Why did it have to happen to me? What was my crime? What would I tell mama if she saw these bruises? How would she react? What if brother got to know about all this? Will that man come again?

All these thoughts pervaded my mind while I stood there, immobile. I hated myself more than that man, because I allowed him to pester with me. The awful memories of last night, how he touched and groped every part of my body, filled me with obloquy.

It was out of my comprehension that a father could assault his own child. He was not a human, he was worse than a beast. Even a wild beast is sympathetic and affectionate towards its offsprings. The feeling of his possessive touch on my skin felt like acid.

And at this point of time, I felt tears fill my eyes up to the brim. Turning on the tap, I broke down, inconsolably. No one would hear me weeping, like last night. I somehow knew that it was my own battle to fight, and that feeling broke my entire being to dust.

I promised myself that I would never tell this incident to mama. I don't want that happy smile to disappear from her face forever. A difficult and painful path lay  before me. My life turned into a living hell in the blink of an eye.

After finishing my shower, I got out of the bathroom and slowly got dressed. The very thought of meeting the person again who violated me filled me with the urge to spew. I resolved, neither will I show any emotion in front of that bastard, nor will I let mom or brother figure out the events of last night.

My steps felt hefty as I descended down the stairs to the drawing room which led to the dining room where we usually ate breakfast. I mentally thanked God that it was a Sunday, I wasn't definitely in the condition to go to school, be it mentally or physically. With my head hung low and my bangs covering my lacklustre eyes, I entered the dining room.

"Morning, dear!", greeted my ever cheerful mama.

"..... morning", I replied in a dry tone.

"What happened, child? Your voice seems to be cracked...."
A concerned look spread throughout her features.

Clearing my throat I replied, "Oh, that's nothing. I'm just not feeling well."

Still not assured, she came towards me and put a hand on my forehead. She let out a cry,
"

Good heavens! You're burning up with a fever!" And while mama made a fervent search for medicine, I slowly looked up from the floor to inspect my surroundings.

The dining table was laid neatly by mama. Brother was busy in savoring his share of bacon and eggs and besides him, that poor excuse for a man was seated, reading newspaper with a straight face. That aloof expression on his face made my blood boil with rage, but I forcibly kept it within myself.

Meanwhile, mama was back and handing me a strip of medicine, she said, "Eat the breakfast first and then take the tablet. Now go and sit there." She pointed to a seat besides that man.

Feeling nauseous at the very thought of sitting beside that filth, I took a seat farthest from him. Noticing this, mama raised an eyebrow but she dismissed that expression only a moment later.

Distracting himself a little from his newspaper reading, Daniel Miller said as a matter of fact, "Oh, Rosalind! I nearly forgot to inform you that I'll be leaving by today evening."

"What?! So soon? They could've been a little more generous...", mama said, disappointedly.

I mentally sighed with relief. At least, I wouldn't have to see his face for maybe another 6 months.

I quickly finished my breakfast and with the strip of medicine in my hand, I headed for my room upstairs. After reaching my room, I quickly locked the door from inside and tossing aside the strip of medicine to an unknown corner of my room, I made myself comfortable in the bed.

Drawing the covers to myself, I made a desperate attempt to sleep, to partly recover myself from the physical agony I had gone through last night. As for mental recovery, I knew it very well that the scars that the monster had inflicted on my tender mind, the damage he had caused to me were irreparable, no matter how much I tried to ignore them. The feeling of being violated like that would haunt me like a specter forever.

I didn't take the medicines that mama gave me for recovery, because the only thing that provided me warmth at that time was nothing else than the fever.

To be continued...