The days went on in a blur, we practised by day and preformed by night.
It was tiring but worth it, I had also gotten closer to the boys, much to my disliking.
There was just something about them that made me want to smile, not that I would admit that.
Kayla was acting very odd, she kept smirking at me whenever I was around but weirdly enough didn't talk to me since the night I fainted.
We had arrived in Texas this morning and I was sitting in my dressing room looking though some old photos of me.
I seemed happier in all of them, I looked like a normal teenage girl.
As I kept scrolling I stopped instantly at a picture of him.
I suddenly felt sick and instantly deleted the photo, afterwards quickly putting away my phone.
I took deep breaths trying to calm myself, and that's when the tour stylist came in and grinned at me.
"You ready?" she asked me, I just nodded and did what she asked.
She always seemed to know what sort of mood I was in as she dressed me in something dark yet beautiful.
It was a starpless black dress which has see through fabric with polka dots from the mid thigh down, I wanted to be barefoot.
She applied some red lipstick and smokey eyeshadow with mascara, she then tied my hair in a bun with loose strands falling out of it.
I waited in the sidelines until Kayla was finished and by then I decided what I wanted to sing.
I told a woman who controlled the back track before heading onto stage.
I wasn't sure if I would be able to make it through the song I had written about my ex but by then it was too late and I had already started.
You're hard to hug, tough to talk to
And I never fall asleep
When you're in my bed,
All you give me is a heartbeat
I've turned into a statue and it
Makes me feel depressed
'Cause the only time you open up
Is when we get undressed
You don't love me, big fucking deal
I'll never tell you how I feel
You don't love me, not a big deal
I'll never tell you how I feel
It almost feels like a joke to play out a part
When you are not the starring role
In someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone
Than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role
Sometimes I ignore you
So I feel in control
But really I adore you
And I cant leave you alone
Fed up with the fantasies
That cover what is wrong
C'mon baby, let's just get drunk
Forget we don't get on
You're like my dad, you'd get on well
I send my best regards from hell
It almost feels like a joke to play out a part
When you are not the starring role
In someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone
Than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role
I never sang for love
I never had a heart to mend
Because before the start began
I always saw the end, yeah
I wait for you to open up
To give yourself to me
But nothing's ever gonna give
I'll never set you free
It almost feels like a joke to play out a part
When you are not the starring role
In someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone
Than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role
By the end I was sure I was shaking from attempting to keep the tears in but I put on a brave face as the crowd cheered. "THANK YOU, HERE IS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR, IT'S 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER" I shouted before going off stage.
I had to get out of here, I didn't want to go back to the dressing room or watch the boys preform, so I took my hair down and ran out the emergancy exit.
