Carry On Dreaming (The Cowboy's Promise sequel) (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter 15

*Elliot's POV*

My twin sister decides to head home and, bidding me goodbye, wraps her arms tightly around me. Her tiny frame shakes. Rubbing her back, I whisper reassurances in her ear before pulling away. From there, she and Blaze head down the hall. I smile at their retreating forms, watching until they disappear around a corner. 

After they're gone, I return to my brother's room and sit in the chair by the bed. He's reading on his phone, but his eyes are heavy, threatening to close any minute. I take his phone and sit it on the table, replacing it with my hand. He looks up and smiles. Looking over his battered body, I start crying again. It's a wonder I'm not dehydrated.

"Hey, hey. Baby bro, it's okay. I got you. It's okay," Red soothes, smoothing my hair back.

"It's all my fucking fault. If I'd never called you," I sniff, "you'd be okay right now. You'd be fine."

"Elliot. You're being ridiculous. If you hadn't have called me, someone else might. Or the truck would've run the light regardless. You didn't cause my accident. You did nothing."

I lay my head on my brothers chest, listening to his heart as he runs his hand over my hair. His heart. His living, beating heart. He's not dead yet. He's alive. He's okay. I didn't kill him.

"It's ridiculous to think you killed me. There's no reason to believe that." Red yawns, pausing in petting me to cover his mouth with his hand.

I ask him how he knew what I was thinking. He chuckles. "I know how your intrusive thoughts work. I should by now."

I finally sit up and watch him. I can tell it's taking him a lot of effort to keep those blue eyes open. I ask if he wants me to go home. My brother begs me to stay a little longer. So we talk and laugh and mostly sit in silence. We watch cars pass by out the window. Here, they're reduced to two bright lights on the highway. Nothing more, nothing less. Soon they're gone, faded from view. Never to be seen again by me.

I look over and Red is slumped against his pillow, asleep. I smile softly. He doesn't look pained right now. He looks peaceful. We fight and bicker constantly, but at the end of the day we love each other. That's life. That's how siblings are and always will be.

Eventually, I wake my older brother and bid him goodnight. Once in the parking lot, I crank my truck and begin the journey home. The drive seems long and bothersome. Failing to find a suitable song, I drive in silence, my scars burning. My knuckles are white on the wheel. God. It seems to be one thing after another around this place. Now Red is injured and can't help around here.

"Calm down, Elliot. You'll manage. It's okay," I murmur to myself. I puff out my cheeks and run a hand through my messy hair.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

What seems like an eternity later, I reach the house. My truck is parked in front of the porch, and I walk to my room, grabbing something from the bathroom. The second I step in my room, I collapse on the bed, tears falling. My elbows are propped on my knees, head in my hands as sobs rip through my body.

"It's all my fault. It's all my fucking fault," I sob. "I should have never fucking called him."

I shove my sleeves up to my elbows and blindly tear open the package from the bathroom to reveal a silver blade. As the blade runs across my arm, the scene replays in my head. Sitting on the porch and talking to Red. Red cussing and complaining about the traffic. I tell him how the day is going, and I'm interrupted by yelling and a loud crash. The line goes dead. Multiple calls go unanswered.