You can't spell space without ace (vkook)

Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new

Jeon Jeongguk wasn't one to put much thought in things like what he wears to college, if he eats far too much fast food – yes he does -, how his hair looks if he doesn't brush it, and about sexuality in general.

For someone who had studied in a very close-minded religious school people would figure he possibly had a problem with anyone who wasn't cishet. But he doesn't. He never really thought much about it and for the entire time he spent in school he caught himself wondering why the hell those people cared so much about others sexualities.

Jeongguk never really looked much further into it as well. He was simply living his life as a - *coughs* not really *cough*- straight guy and minding his own business.

The first time he actually remembers taking note of somebody else sexuality was when he watched Troye Sivan's coming out video.

He absolutely loved Troye. He was funny and rather – read: very much – adorable. Jeongguk spent a whole lot of time during his teenage years only watching his videos over and over again.

So once the boy came out he simply felt incredibly happy for him. If he needs to be honest here he was quite worried he would have a bad reaction, because for whatever reason he feared being an asshole in disguise. But he was not and seeing Troye's video just made him more aware of sexuality as a whole.

Around the same time he was still in High School and Yugyeom was obsessed with the idea that this guy on their class was gay. The boy didn't have a problem with it, but his obsession was definitely annoying as fuck.

Jeongguk tried to reason with him and make it clear that the guy's sexuality wasn't his concern and he shouldn't be speculating about it, but who says his friend heard him.

Said guy was Kunpimook's friend and someday Yugyeom insisted they needed to go out altogether. In that occasion, the guy briefly mentioned some guy as in a romantic interest and Yugyeom, not discretely at all, just gave Jeongguk a look.

Jeongguk almost killed his friend in the spot, but that would be rude to the rest of the people in the table so he decided against it.

On the ride home that day he remembers how Yugyeom was properly freaking out over the guy's sexuality. Kunpimook then confirmed to them his friend was indeed gay and honestly Jeongguk couldn't care less but Yugyeom proceeded to tell him about how he was right and shit.

It was driving Jeongguk crazy and to this day he stills lowkey hates his shitty friend for that, because all that Yugyeom said stuck with him and he found himself noticing some things he didn't noticed before.

It wasn't really related in any way, but for some reason all the damn speculation from Yugyeom towards the guy made Jeongguk start his own speculation towards no one other than his own sister.

Now to be fair here what Jeongguk was doing should not be called speculation at all. It should be called finally coming to his senses and actually paying attention to his surroundings once in his life because his sister was not evasive about her sexuality at all.

She was always watching MVs of only girl groups, her phone background was girls, she only watched girls on YouTube and only ever talked about girls.

Jeongguk just didn't take notice on it because he never saw a problem with it.

This was the time the whole sexuality ordeal actually hit close to him.

He remembers how one day he ended up watching videos on YouTube with his sister and how she then showed him some couple of lesbians and as Jeongguk asked her who was her favorite from each couple she would always say the one with the darker hair and dorkier attitude.

Then, without putting any thought in what he was saying, he simply told her he figured out her type.

She just faced him for a minute with an odd face.

Jeongguk must've blocked this part of the conversation because he got embarrassed for saying more than he should, but he knows that somewhere in that mess of a conversation he had with his sister, she told him she was indeed a lesbian.

He was glad she could confess that to him, even if she wasn't discreet about, the boy knew their parents probably didn't take notice of it. So he felt good to be her confident.

After that it became easier than ever to talk with her because she would just talk to him about everything at all. As she saw she had a supportive brother she started to talk about things like that with him.

Because of her that Jeongguk got to learn so much about the LGBT+ community. He loved learning as much as he could about it and loved talking to his sister about it.

The only thing that didn't made the whole conversation about crushes easier was the fact that Jeongguk felt weird talking about any of that.

His sister thought they would be talking about girls and stuff because Jeongguk was straight and she was a lesbian so perfect combo for talking about girls between a brother and a sister.

But even if Jeongguk could possible write an essay of why he thought Emma Watson was the most adorable and precious person to ever walk the earth, he felt odd actually talking about it.

His sister would want to talk about who he thought was cute and Jeongguk would shut down and feel awkward, well more awkward than he already is.

He would only agree with her and nod, and she would get a bit annoyed at that, but oh well.

Even if this would make their conversations come to an end, Jeongguk was happy he got to talk to her about many other things.

It was from his sister the first time he heard the term asexual.

He had come back from college to have lunch and his sister started to talk about this friend of hers, the dude knew she was a lesbian and apparently decided to share his own sexuality with her.

But the thing that did not help Jeongguk's case here was that the guy was also aromantic.

His sister told him about how her friend told her he was asexual and briefly commented about him not wanting to have sex, but she concentrated more on the aromantic part and honestly if she ever used the term, Jeongguk doesn't recall it.

She probably did because if there is someone out there that tried to understand what others go through in terms on sexuality and whatnots is his sister, so he is certain she said it but he doesn't remember hearing it.

Therefore after hearing from his sister that her friend did not want to engage in any type of relationship that wasn't platonic he just associated that to the term asexual.

For him asexual meant wanting neither a sexual nor a romantic relationship so he didn't find himself identifying with the term because he wanted a romantic relationship.

Now this is a common mistake, as both terms aren't openly discussed nobody really knows what they mean. People don't know you can be both or just one.

Unfortunately at the time being, Jeongguk was one of those people and he simply listened to his sister talking about her friend and took no mind to it.

After that it took him a while to face that term again and most days he wishes he had come across it sooner.