|just tell me that you love me z.m.|

.2

"Lexi I need to see him." Bella cries pathetically, eyes shining and brimming with fresh tears. She missed him terribly- it had been a month since the fire and she was bounded inside the hospital, which was extremely lonely without Zayn.

Mr. and Mrs. Malik brought Zayn back home and Lexi had stayed with him, aiding him until Bella would finally awake.

"Here." Lexi says, giving Bella her medicine. Bella swallows it quickly and attempts to stand up, taking her crutches with her.

Lexi guides Bella into the elevator gently, being careful not to hurt her already injured big sister. Bella presses the lobby button and switches off legs, shifting her weight off one leg and onto another until they get into Lexi's silver convertible car that she bought recently. She had just graduated high school and was going back to Maine, for college, in two short months.

The car ride back home was quiet, and Lexi seemed more passive aggressive than ever.

"Okay..Bells please dont freak out?"

"About?" Bella questions, smiling because they were finally outside her apartment complex.

"Zayn just......" Lexi looks deep into Bella's eyes hesitatingly, "he's- he got really hurt. He's bruised everywhere and he's now handicap."

"His doctor explained everything to me but thanks for your concern." Bella rolls her eyes, pushing the door open. Everything was exactly as they left it, clean and shiny. Bella was a stress cleaner.

"Zayn?" Bella calls out, hopping her way into her bedroom where Zayn was. He laid on their bed, gazing up at the ceiling. Bella gasped, tears forming in her eyes as she walked towards Zayn. He was indeed bruised and bloody. But Bella didn't care about how wounded he appeared, she still loved him more than Romeo loved his Juliet- she'd do anything for him.

She sits on his lap and hugs him softly-completely oblivious to his condition. She was overcome with joy and peace, now that she was in his arms.

"You scared me." Bella cries, pressing her lips against Zayn's. Zayn slowly kissed back, hands traveling to cup her face. Bella stared into his star filled eyes. He was blurry.

"Have you..do you remember what-"

"No.." Zayn whispers, angry at the fact that he couldn't feel anything. He literally had Bella on his lap and he couldn't do anything. He could feel it but he couldn't fix it.

"Zayn." Bella sobbed, "Zayn look at me."

Zayn stared out the window, a small smile playing on his lips. Bella's heart pounded against her chest as she looked into his eyes. "I love you so much." Bella cries, suddenly not wanting to wait.

"What are you doing Bells?"

"Lex left for the weekend..snow left with her. We have the whole house to ourselves." Bella says quickly, unzipping her sweater and taking off her shirt to reveal her racy black bra.

"Bells I cant.." Zayn says softly, traces of shame and disappointment in his eyes.

"I talked to your doctor and-"

"I can't, Bella!" He yells, his head was pounding, "I literally can't." Zayn says, softer this time. He didn't mean to startle Bella, it was just that his whole person ached for Bella, but he knew he could never have her in the way he wanted. He was restricted, he was paralyzed.

"Wha..why?"

"I'm just..can we heal before jumping into things? I'm-I'm trying to..fuck. God damn, Bells. Put on your shirt." Zayn says, failing miserably to maintain eye contact.

"Y-Yeah..definitely." Bella says, getting off of Zayn with a frown. She felt rejected, something that wasn't good for her horribly constant need to feel loved. Wanting validation and approval was an effect of her BDD. She put on her shirt and ditched the sweater.

"I love you but it's just..I can't feel my legs and I don't know how-what I'm supposed to do. I'm freaking out."

"Do nothing, just..relax. Everything's gonna be okay, I'm gonna take care of you." Bella whispers, oblivious of the storm heading her way. She knew, deep down, that she was lying but miracles happen everyday. Maybe something good was to come out of all this chaos and pain.

"How can you take care of me when you can't take care of yourself?"

Ouch. She thought to herself.

"How do you love me when you don't even love yourself?" Bella retorted, her voice barely below a whisper. She laid against Zayn, her head laying on his chest.

"I don't need to like myself to love you. Everything's so simple with you..it just feels right. And I know that I love you, I spent two months without you- and the mere thought of you dying was enough to make me want to die too." Zayn's voice cracks tragically, making Bella's heart ache bittersweetly. It was good to hear Zayn's words, but it was horrible to realize what his words entailed.

"I missed you too but t-thats not healthy..you should be happy, even if I'm not around." Bella urged.

"Don't you get it, Bells? You are my happiness. You jump, I jump."

"Okay, jack." Bella smiles, pecking his lips repeatedly- each time long and affectionate.