Hi, I just wanted to let the reader know that this is just 2 paragraphs of the beginning of my story. The girl is in a dream/trance so it had to be very vivid and descriptive. Also I'm thinking about the story being told 3rd person (narrator). Please critique it. Note that this is my first attempt also :)
Dizzy, confused, scared, and in a state of reverie; I lay there in the dreamy meadow as my eyes slowly fluttered open. Somehow I had ended up lying in the grass, all alone. When I first set my eyes on the eye-catching yet breathtaking scenery around me, I gazed in awe wondering if this was all possibly a dream. The beautiful landscape was still without movement, no noise, no sound, and no wind. The forest had made as much sound as a fallen leaf. Yet somehow I heard a melodic sound ringing in my ears, wanting me to close my eyes and gracefully drift along to its imperfect, flawless tune. The rhythm was slow and sweet and it was so soothing and warm that I stayed like that, cuddled up and just listening, thinking that nothing could ever possibly go wrong in this mysterious world. Swirling soft lights surrounded me as the music carried me away. It was like no other song I had imagined--- lyrical, enchanting, and absolutely dazzling. I soflty giggled, wrapping my arms around my knees, swaying from side to side as if I were in a haven of peace. Bathed in the sweet sounds, I longed for it to go on forever. The melody curved like a magnificent bird gliding through the sky. Then it gently fell, like the waves crashing into the shores.
As much as I enjoyed the soft humming music it made me utterly dizzy causing me to stumble back over my feet, but even my clumsiness couldn't affect me at this moment. I suddenyl had the urge to soar beyond the point where I stoof now. As I dragged myself further on, I could smell the fresh, clean fragrance of the forest as its scent drifted past me like ghosts. The sweet smell reminded me of spring when all the flowers were blooming. The ground was dappled with lustrous crimson and alpine flowers. There were fields and gardens filled with wild flowwrs, ablaze with spectacular colors. The forest sprung with the powerful scent of balsam and pine trees and the oak trees were the lovely color of honey. I squinted my eyes making out some mountains in the distance. The rolling hills, the peaceful plains, the brilliant sparkling turquoise water and the fairy-tale like trees looked all as if it had been delicately painted with such precise details that the painting had magically sprung to life. "The land is alive and it breathes with magic", a small gentle voice inside my head whispered to me.
