The Decision

The Decision Part 1

The Decision

“Don’t go Andy. Please, you might never come back.” Jaclyn pleaded. Tears filled her light blue gray eyes as her short, blonde hair fell in her face. She looks away so I don’t have to see her cry.

    I hug and kiss her cheek. “Honey, I don’t know if I will just yet. The possibility of me not coming back is very great, but this could be very good for the future of my job. We need the money Jaclyn, think about the baby.” I reassured her.

She runs her hands up and down her stomach as she thinks about their unborn child. I was offered this job as a promotion, but instead of taking it immediately, I told them I would think about it. But when I got home from work, I saw my wife and almost couldn’t take it because I knew the consequences of this mission. That is where my story begins. So let's go back to the beginning.

“Andy, please come to my office, we have something important to discuss.” The commander said.

“Yes sir.” I reply. I follow him down the long hallway of the station, passing photographs of past commanders hanging on the wall. Most of them were older men with white or gray hair. But when looking at the commander now, you can see that isn’t always the case. The commander is tall and young. With blonde hair and green eyes. He has a crooked smile and he is very kind. Nothing like the people in the photographs. They are older, with dead eyes. Eyes that have seen things, and not good things. There faces an image of pure pain or just numb. I do not see a single smile on any of their faces. It’s a scary thought to think that the commander I know now, may turn into that.

We walk into his large office. A very open space with different trinkets lying around. A mug lays on the desk with what appears to be a baby. Under that was a single name, Jonah. He is a father…..like me, I think to myself.

“Please have a seat.” He motions to the black leather chairs he had sitting in front of his desk. I sat down as requested and listen to what he had to say. “Now you are not in trouble if that is what you are thinking. You are doing exceptional work here and I am here to offer you a promotion.”

I sit there is awe. Then after a brief moment I reply, “Wait really? I’m honored.”

He releases a small chuckle, “Yes really. You have been doing great work for us for years and I feel you deserve this. Your 1st mission, if you accept this, will be to travel with 15 or so other people to Mars to see if the planet is livable. Now, there is something else. There is a possibility that you may not return. I know you have a wife and baby on the way. So I want you to really think about this.”

“Why would there be a chance that I wouldn’t come back?”

“Anything could happen while out there. We are just expecting everything. But it’s only a possibility. The possibility of not coming back is only 46%, don’t stress about it. It's okay to not take the promotion, I will completely understand. So what do you say?”

I hesitate for a moment. “Let me think about it and talk to Jaclyn about this. I will give you an answer tomorrow sir.”

“Okay Andy, now get back to work.” And at that I went back to my station and resumed what I was doing. But it is hard for me to concentrate since I have so much running through my head at the moment.

   

    After a long shift, I get into my car and drive to the nearest popeye’s and  buy dinner. I then depart for home.

Jaclyn is asleep on the couch. She looks so peaceful. I walk over to her and gently wake her up.

    “I’m home honey and I have something to talk about with you.”

    She woke up with a smile on her face. “Welcome home my love.” I helped her up off the couch and we walked to the kitchen together.

    “What is it we need to talk about?” She asked as she sat at the table.

    I grabbed our food and some plates and placed it on the table. “I got offered a promotion.”

    “That's great dear, did you take it?”

    “No, that's what we need to talk about. If I take the promotion then my first mission will be to travel to Mars to see if the planet is livable. But there is a possibility that I will never come back.” I paused. “I told them I would talk to you first.”

    She hesitated. “You might not come back?” She rubbed her stomach as she thought of the unborn child she carried.

    There was a silence after that. “Yes, and I may consider taking it.”

    “Don’t go my love. Please, you might never come back.” Jaclyn pleaded.
    “Honey, I don’t know if I will just yet. The possibility of me not coming back is very great, but this could be very good for the future of my job. We need the money sweetheart, think about the baby.” I responded.

I could see a spark of anger in her eyes. “You think about the baby. I can’t see him growing up without a father. But you do what you feel will be best.”

“I will tell him tomorrow I will take him. But I will return, I promise my love. Distance can never keep me away from you my love,” and at that I kissed her and we ate our food in silence.

The next morning I get up and head to the kitchen. I make myself a cup of coffee and get ready for work.

I look into the mirror at myself. My shaggy brown hair is a mess and my blue eyes shining like diamonds. I look away and finish getting ready for work.

I walk into the bedroom and over to Jaclyn. She is still asleep looking very peaceful. I kiss her on the cheek. A smile formed on her face but she didn’t wake up. I leave the house and head to work.

I walk into the commander's office. He is sitting in his chair looking over the plans for the ship. He looks up at me, “Oh hi Andy, what can I do for you?”

“I have considered your offer and I will take the promotion.”

“I am so happy to hear. Please follow me.”

We left the office and head down the long hallway. Passing by more portraits of past commander’s. I don’t look at them this time. I now know why they are all emotionless and have dead eyes. I can not bear to look at them.

We come to a very large room on the other side of the hallway. It was full of different machines that were very big and looked extremely complicated. The commander leads me to the station across from a lag ship to a group of men.

“Guys, this is Andy. He has joined the mission to Mars. Please show him the ropes around here and I will come back to check on you later.” With that he left the room and I was immediately handed a clipboard with different numbers on it. The crew explained that this is how they estimated the possibility of not returning. This set my mind at ease. I will come back for you jaclyn, I thought. I promise.

Weeks past by and it was departure time. I got into a cooling chamber and put on the huge suit that weighed a ton. Metal clanked against my buckle as I wiggled my way into it. Then when I got it on I walked to the ship.

There were people crying, because they would have to leave the ones they love behind. I saw jaclyn and kiss her goodbye.

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you too,” she replied.

Then I walk to the ship and make my way to my seat…..waving goodbye to Jaclyn.

I will return my love, nothing will keep us apart. I thought.

The door closed and we heard a timer being counted down.

“Departure time in 10…...9…...8….” The rest of the numbers left my head as I thought of Jaclyn. Then before I know it, we are off.

One last thought runs through my head. I will be back for you….

To be continued….