You are tiny.

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You're sitting on the edge of a glass' mouth; legs swinging back and forth, tight grip on the border of the glass, silence.
You start noticing the depth of the glass, how light is reflected by it, how the wind makes a slight whistling sound against the glass; a faint one. You can almost ignore it and focus on the now less silent environment surrounding your body; the same body holding both legs you are swinging back and forth, the legs that brush against the wind. The same wind that creates a low almost soothing sound surrounding you.  You notice that now, the silence has disappeared. 


You have become totally aware of the sound the wind is making when hitting the glass' mouth; the one you are holding on to firmly. You notice the work your muscles are doing; having a grip on the borders, holding your legs swinging back and forth. Those legs. They swing back and forth, making you feel the wind brush against them again and again. The wind. The one making all that noise. 

You notice how your body has become tenser because of the noise. You think about the wind, the noise, the legs, the wind again, the legs, your body, the grip, the glass. The glass. You think back to the depth of it, you remember how the light hits it, what every part of the glass looks like and how it feels. You become aware of everything. Everything comes and goes, in and out of your brain; the depth. The glass. The legs. The wind. The grip. The noise. The glass. The legs. The wind. The grip. The noise; oh god -- the noise. It is all too much, too much to think about, too much to process, too much noise. You can hear everything.

Until you hear nothing.

Before you even realize it, you have let go of the glass and now you are falling. You know you let go, you just don't know how or why you did it. It is as if your body acted on its own, you didn't ask for it to let go, your brain didn't order for it to happen. It just did. You didn't want to let go, but you did. And now you are falling. You know you are falling but you don't do anything about it; after all, what could you do? You can't hold on to anything, there is nothing to hold on to - is there? How would you know anyway? You are not even trying, not even thinking about anything. You are simply falling. Do you even want to stop it from happening? It isn't even that bad; the noise has stopped. You are merely laying on your back, numb.

Until you hit something. You hit something hard like concrete, but after a second it becomes soft and consumes you. 


It doesn't take you long to realize you just landed on water; cold enough to wake you up from your previous numbness but not enough for you to actually feel cold. In a matter of seconds the glass has entirely filled with water and for some reason, you are sinking. Instead of you floating or being at the surface, you are swimming at the bottom of the glass, swimming upwards as fast as you can. You start running out of air, which makes you feel even more trapped, you move your limbs frantically to escape the water. You look up and see that the glass appears to be much deeper than before you fell in, you can't even see the surface. You can't breathe. You are drowning. What do you do know? You have no choice but to stop trying to hold your breath and solely accept. You let go, close your eyes, open your mouth and prepare yourself for the water you are about to intake. 

You feel nothing but surprise when air is what comes into your mouth and starts filling your lungs again. Next: relief which is followed by confusion. You start to wonder. 

Were you ever drowning? Were you ever even falling in the first place? All this time, you have had the power to decide not to fall, not to drown. To take control and breathe. Even though you could actually breathe you were just trapped. Trapped inside yourself, your thoughts; you thought you couldn't breathe, so you couldn't.

You are nothing else but a slave to your own body, your own thoughts; you are imprisoned by your mind.


You are tiny.

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