I need to say something. Above everything I've done while in love with the dove that seemed so perfect to me. I can now see that everything you meant to me was a fantasy. I was blinded by the naiveness that I'm made up of. I mean what even is love? It holds you like a glove, then drops you from above. Nothing you applied can guide you to what you want, so you hide from life, and the strife that was caused because you shoved it in like a knife. It hurts to know, that everything would go And not glow just because I wanted you to know that I loved you.
It's true.. I'm just some fat nothing. But I thought there might be something. Instead I broke you. Just because I'm some joke who thought that he could love you. But instead he was wrong. He's always wrong. Always sings the wrong song. Always tries to play along. But doesn't stay for long because he dreams big dreams and tries for big things, but he's not meant to achieve them. He knew the chance was slim. But he tried anyway. And now you too are gone. Because who could love me anyway.
My dreams aren't here to stay. I'm stepped all over. Dropped like a clover. Beautiful yet broken.
Is it a sin to just want to win... Once... who am I kidding, I'm dunce. A good for nothing clutz. I'm completely nuts if I think I could ever win. Look at me. Fat and disgusting. Good for nothing. Not worth loving. I wish I could just have something... But I get told day in and day out, what my dreams are all about. Apparently it's not good enough to just berate me, lets see how far it takes to break free the inner demons deep at sea in the cavity that is his mind. Rip apart his story's. Tear apart his glories. So that he really will unwind and be nothing.
Because that's all I am. After that, all That's left is Sam. A broken boy with a broken past. A broken toy with all the buttons smashed.
I know I'm crazy. I know I'm lazy. I'm no daisy. My brain is hazy. I am nothing. I will never be anything.
But i'll try anyway. Ill build my temple out of clay. I'll blow you all away. And one day, you'll all stand and say, "there stands the man who created beauty with his own hands just to prove that he wasn't nothing." Because I will be something.. Maybe. Or maybe, they'll be dragging my body out of a hotel room, while the sirens loom and the sun is in bloom. And I'll be dead. With lead in my head, just like they all said. Because maybe they're right.
Maybe I am nothing important. Maybe my stories are as stupid as me... I guess we'll just have to see.
For now, I'm unloved by her, and my dreams are ignored. And I can't afford what this world throws my way. For today, here I lay. For today I am not something. I am nothing.
