Friday the 13th

A day before Friday 13th, at this time, 6:28 PM.

It was so hectic and I ran through the hallway cursing at myself for being so stupid because I couldn't peel those potatoes and the meat is already expired. It's actually your fault, because you promised to come on Monday but you didn't. Okay, this is my confession: I ordered the dinner, I didn't cook it except the steak (which is already expired) and chocolate pudding. You know I'm terrible at cooking but at least I tried?! And I feel so bad when you said the tofu was delicious, I'm sorry I'm not the one who cooked it. But if you ask for that tofu again, with a pleasure I'm gonna learn how to cook it. Here it comes, the candlelight dinner—or I can say, almost. I decorated the table with candles and flowers and I was kinda nervous it would be cringe for us to do such a thing. And the music, no, I didn't play it. I was scared you're gonna run.

It happened so fast as I can remember that you rushed into your plate and ate it in 5 minutes. While I starred at you but you caught me and you said, "What's wrong?" "Um... nothing." Duh, stupid me all the time. We talked a little about the dishes, about your broken car that caused the meat got expired, and my rooftop plan, of course. I always want to go to the rooftop and see the cityscape with you, don't ask me why. Then here you go again with your too-much-speculation about getting caught with me by everyone, literally EVERYONE (even they don't know you). You asked me to go first and waited at 25th floor, you said we can't go together, and you told me about the horror movie that you have watched twice. I definitely got it that it was your plan so we don't have to go. You're so tricky, what on earth did you think? I'm just asking for rooftop moment☹ and as you plan, it didn't happen.

You don't have to guess, I found us in my room doing our typical thing. It was bad. You lost control and pushed me hard, for God's sake I was so scared. But what happened after that, probably the sweetest thing so far. We watched tv 'till midnight—from comedy talk show to news, it felt fine and comfy. We were such a dumb when we watched the news and both of us didn't know what gratification is that we had to googled it haha it felt so good to be dumb together. We also learned about drugs and your stupid idea to sell it and become rich (surely it was a joke). You finally told me about your disease, I said I was so worried but you thought I was teasing you then turned my cheek away; believe me I really do, I always do. You talked about your family, about your favorite movies (it surprised me that you don't like superheroes). I gave you Game of Thrones quiz and found out you're not really a big fan, aren't you? 90% of our night conversation was probably you asked me to play with your hair and rub your back. You actually asked too much, but I did it anyway.

You always ask me to open the curtain so you can see the city lights. I always love city lights, but when you stare at it, I stay at you. You go again with your scary imagination that something would show at my window, shit I hate you. And you go even crazier about the flying man that only us could see it in the tv show... I've told you he's an iron man. I accidentally sang you a lullaby and it reminded you to a haunted lullaby and you asked me to watch it on youtube, of course I said NO. You gave me that spooky-but-safe feeling, it was weird. Like you told me a hundred time: "....weirdo." We ended up sleeping and hug each other that night. Until this morning came, you gone, and I realized it's Friday 13th. I don't want to go to the rooftop, I was even scared to be on the elevator alone. I closed the curtain and feeling a little bit spooky. As I turn on a page and type this down, I realize something: thing that haunted me the most is you.