Cannabis

Chapter 14

It was Monday morning and as usual, I was sitting on my bench in the classroom. The fever was still there and despite mama's fervent protests against me going to school, I dismissed the thought of staying at home. I needed to distract my mind from the incidents of that gruesome night.

But, it proved to be ineffective. My mind was littered with memories of that night as I stared at the whiteboard, caring little about what Mr. Meyer was teaching.
That poor excuse for a man, for the love of God, had left the evening before. In his presence, my mind would get numb, preventing me from thinking through all the events that changed my life for the worse. Now that he was gone, I supposed that I can allow my mind to reflect upon those things.

Now I get it. He had it in his mind all the while. No wonder he was being overly affectionate to me. And I thought that he loved me, that he had finally acknowledged me. Heck! How stupid I was! I'm happy that he's gone now. I wish he never comes back. But if he comes back--

"Would you like to share your noble thoughts with us, Erose?"

My reverie was interrupted by Mr. Meyer's steely voice.

"Erose Miller?" he prompted.

Gingerly, I stood up and met my homeroom teacher's stern gaze. If only you had an idea about what I was thinking, I thought.

I saw the hostility in his eyes, but they were nothing compared to what I saw in my "dad's" eyes that fateful night.

Mr. Meyer threw his marker at me which landed with precision on my left eye.

"Get out of the class! I despise students who don't pay attention to what I teach", hollered my homeroom teacher. If it were some other day, I would've winced at his voice. I exited the room wordlessly, without a thought.
The bell for recess rang, and the relief among the students was palpable. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong, Ero? You seem awfully down... ", asked my best friend Noah.

I could see the concern in Noah's bright blue eyes. He's always been a boy with a buoyant persona, but for the first time I saw him worried.

"It's nothing.... Just had a fever yesterday. You won't eat your tiffin?" I tried to distract him.

"I'd like to find out what's eating you, tiffin can wait. I'm having a feeling that's it just not the fever." His face was set into a frown.

"I-It's nothing.... You're overthinking. This isn't like you at all!" I let out a laugh that sounded hollow to my own ears.

"Don't think that I don't understand anything. This conversation is way far from being over." He stomped his way back to the class.

If only you knew.... But I knew better than to involve him in the gutter I was in. At the same time, I felt that one day or the other, I had to divulge everything to him, knowing how persistent he could be.

The rest of the classes rolled by silently. Thrice I saw Noah stealing glances at me. He was really fretful about my ongoings, the abrupt change in my deportment, which made me a little happy inside.

At least, someone cared...

When I reached home, I found mama cooking in the kitchen and Evan playing with his gaming console in the living room. I saw no sign of that man in the house, to my utter relief.

"Welcome back, dear! How was school?" Mama asked me from the kitchen.

"Hn... It was good." I lied, knowing that letting her know about my confrontation with Mr. Meyer wasn't a good idea.

Avoiding any further conversation, I hurried upstairs, to my room. My room had become a secure hideout for me since Saturday, also a place to fight internal battles.

I shut the door quickly, but didn't switch on the lights. I preferred darkness more often nowadays, it offered me certain equanimity that nothing else could.

It was getting too much. First it was mama, then today it was Noah who noticed the change in me.

Am I giving out signs? Will Noah ask me again? What am I supposed to say him? Should I share this with anyone?

The thoughts ran in my head incessantly. It was out of question to tell this to mama, she won't be able to survive it, given how much she loves that wretched man. Neither can I tell this to Noah, I'd rather die a thousand deaths than say something so hideously mortifying.

Then who is supposed to hear me out and extend a helping hand to my anguished soul?

It hit me like a wrecking ball.

The only person I can confess to is none other than my elder brother, Evan. Maybe he's snarky, maybe he's not that fond of me, but he's my elder brother after all. He'd listen, he'd surely listen....

I made up my mind to confess to Evan Miller.

To be continued...