Be More Romantic {Boyf-riends} Jeremy x Michael

Theres no way

A/N
Probably gonna be cursing. Just saying. And mention of drugs and porn too.

Jeremy's POV

When It finally hit me I was so confused. I had never thought I'd see boys in that way, but after seeing Michael the way I did it just hit me. So suddenly. Like getting punched in the face by Rich last year before the whole SQUIP thing happened. Let me start it off.

It was a normal day, summer so no school. I refused to hang out with anyone but Michael the whole summer. I owe him at least that and more for practically rejecting him and causing the poor dude so much pain. I was his only friend back then. So I dedicated my whole summer to him. I wasn't complaining. He forgave me for the incident and everything was back to normal.

We were in his basement and I'll admit, we were both a little high. Not completely blazed, but we were damn relaxed. We had to have replayed the level like 200 times because we just didn't give a shit. But yeah, so he and I were lazily playing Apocalypse of the Damned, when it sort of dawned on me. I know what you might be thinking. 'It's okay Jeremy, you were high.' But as true as that was, it doesn't matter because even now when I'm not high I still look at him with the same feelings.

We watched the screen, hitting random buttons and fucking around like good friends do when he flipped himself sideways, back facing me and leaned his head on my shoulder. He let out a sigh of content, not saying a word and I knew how comfy he must've been. I felt my cheeks go up in red. I remember myself thinking of how Christine use to do this but remembered that I never flared up as much to her as I was right then. I took a peek at him.

The reflection of the screen in front of us bounced off his tilted glasses, shining a smaller light on the floor. His eyes fixated on the screen, the deep brown I had loved to stare at before. Sign one. I realized I stared at him way to often. His tongue stuck out of his mouth ever so slightly, even high he still tried to concentrate. That was adorable to me. Sign two. If you think anything about your best friend is cute or attractive, oh boy. That should count as at least a sign that you might be bi. At least. And with me, I'm sort of like a Venus fly trap. It takes three signs before I'll lock on to an idea.

The last sign was when we lost for about the thousandth time on the same level, he turned his head and looked up at me. His eyes were glazed over from the weed. His face was of an irritated calm and he said "goddamnit Jeremy fucking focus." His voice was low and teasing though. When I heard it, I shivered. Sign three. Final sign. When your friend gives you a boner by talking to you, you've got a problem.

So yeah. I found out that night that I was defiantly at least bi. And I think I might be even more than bi, because the reason I broke up with Christine is because the feelings had stopped.

That night I got on my computer, hit the privet mode on the browser and looked for answers. When simply typing 'how do you know if your gay' didn't give me the answers that I wanted, I resorted to another web search. Something I never thought I'd do in my life.

I searched for male porn. And holy fuck. If I can get off to that, yeah. There's defiantly something there.

Now how I knew I was into my best friend is when I started to think about him. While.... yeah. So now I have a really big problem.

How the hell am I suppose to tell him I'm gay for him? Michael Mell is not gay. At least I don't think. I use to think he was gay because of the rainbow flag patch on his arm, until he told me it was a free thing that his activists group gave out one day at one of his meetings, much like the one that said 'RISE against RACISM' in a square on the lower left side of his coat. So now I'm not sure. The patch could mean he's gay, but how am I suppose to know?

I think it's time I seek some outside (or more like inside) help. Intel, if you would....