Freak

01 / Mom!

The music I add is the music I listen to when I write the chapter. I recommend you to listen to it, not only because it's amazing, also because it gives you the feeling I want the chapter to have.

The car crash was fatal. There was nothing we could do about it anymore. Your mother didn't survive."
"Dad, do they mean mom's..." before I could finish my sentence, he said it.
"She's dead, Daliah."
She's dead.
Those words. I still hear them every day.
It sounded like it didn't even hurt him.
Like he didn't even care.
But I did more than anyone.
When I first heard this news, I had no idea how to handle it.
The last conversation I had with my mom was a fight, and now I realised I could never tell her how sorry I was. I would never be able to hear her voice again, have her hug me. I would never be able to tell her how much I love her.
She's dead.
And instead of crying, I fell on my knees, laughing hysterically.
"Did you hear that, dad? They say she's dead! Mom's dead! DEAD!"
I screamed that word until it had no meaning for me anymore.
My father tried to calm me down, but nothing would help. I pushed them all away and ran up to my room.

***

It was 2 AM, six hours after the police agent told us the news.
Friends and family went to our home or called us that day, asking us if we would like to spend the night at their place. We decided to just stay home.
My dad handled the situation very calmly. I know he was just trying to stay strong for me. My heart was aching. I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried.
In my head, I kept repeating those words: "She's dead."
I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I stepped out of bed and the floor felt colder than usual. With tiny steps, trying not to wake my father, I went to the bathroom.
The bright light from the bathroom instantly made me feel more awake. I sat down on the side of the bathtub. As I looked to my left, I saw the window standing open. The night was windy and cold. Just looking at it made me want to run away, into that darkness. Away from the fake pity from my friends, away from reality. I walked back to my room and grabbed some clothing. My ripped jeans, smelling like the laudry detergent my mom washed them with this morning. My black T-shirt, and my white sneakers. The most basic outfit I could wear. Clothes didn't even matter at this point.
I silently walked downstairs to grab my coat. The staircase creaked a little, but not hard enough to wake my dad. The little cabinet in the hall always had some money laying on top of it. I grabbed as much as I could find and ran. I ran into the night.

***

If you were wondering why my mother and I were fighting? I'm in a relationship with this guy, Cole. We've been dating for six months now. I haven't told him yet, but I'm pretty sure I love him. My mom says, no, used to say that he was a bad influence on me. I don't care. I did what I did. I ran to Cole, knowing I would be able to cry on his shoulder, that he would be understanding. He lived in a small house, alone. His parents let him live there alone, they didn't want him to live with them anymore. As I was approaching his house, I looked around. The street lights gave the street an ominous effect. I walked closer to his house and knocked on the door. Unexpectedly, he opened the door very quickly, looking handsome as ever. His dark half long hair was messily surrounding his face and I saw his bright hazel eyes light up when he saw me.
"Daliah! It's 3 AM, are you okay?"
"No, Cole, no I'm not."
He made a welcoming motion with his hand, telling me silently that I could come in. As I walked inside, I could feel he lovingly placed his hand on my waist.
"What's wrong, darling?"
Darling. That word gives me shivers. I love it when he calls me that. Darling.
"I'm so... I'm so sorry I haven't told you earlier,"
I started sobbing.
"Hey, whatever it is, I won't be mad. Promise."
He said that in such a sweet tone. I have no idea how, but he made me feel so relaxed.
"Cole, my mother just died."
My sobbing turned into crying. He didn't say a word. He just hugged me. I'm pretty sure that was exactly what I needed.
I tried to continue my story, but he told me I didn't have to, and talking about it right now would only make me feel worse. I could talk about tomorrow, he said. We walked upstairs to get some sleep. This wasn't the first time I slept over, so it wasn't anything new. He didn't say anyting the rest of the night. I didn't either.

End of chapter 01: Mom!

I will continue this story. I hope you liked the first chapter! Tell me what you think.
Love,
Julia