Time Me

1

The sound of my phone ringing woke me from my restless slumber. I groaned and felt around my bed for the small metal device causing the source of my annoyance. Finally, after what felt like a good twenty minutes, I found it under my knee. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when I read the time on the screen. I flung myself out of bed, throwing on the first outfit hanging in my closet and misting myself quickly with my favorite fragrance. I rushed down the stairs and yanked my keys off the hook, nearly pulling the whole wall rack down with it. My mind was going crazy thinking about how pissed off Lexi was going to be that I was almost thirty minutes late, again. I prayed that she would be forgiving-although I definitely didn't deserve forgiveness, and especially not from her-and floored it out of the driveway. The drive was mainly quiet, the sound of the radio being the only thing that flooded the tiny space of my truck. I occasionally sang along to the songs I knew and before I realized it I was at my destination. I parked my truck in the spot closest to the entrance of the fence and scanned the park for her familiar face. As I didn't see those familiar brown eyes anywhere, I frowned. Had Lexi already left? Just as I pulled out my phone to call her, a red mini cooper tore into the parking lot. A small smile took over what was once a disappointed frown as my stylish best friend pulled into the spot next to me. I hopped out of my truck and we walked to the pavilion. Lexi sat across from me as I lit a cigarette and sheepishly lifted my sun glasses to reveal my dull eyes-which sported some major baggage.

"Whoa, Mel. You look like shit." Lexi laughed and took out her bowl to start medicating. I rolled my eyes and slightly laughed.

"Thanks for the confidence booster, it's much appreciated Lexi." I knew I looked terrible, and I wasn't mad at her for pointing it out. I hadn't been sleeping much after what happened with Chris. I furrowed my eyebrows and gazed at the small white stick between my fingers, questioning why I chose to poison myself this way.

"Hey, I hope it's okay with you but I invited a friend of mine who I haven't seen in a while. I think you guys will get along well, his name is J." Lexi looked down, almost like she had said something wrong. I hated that she blamed herself for Chris, it wasn't her fault. She's so cautious now when inviting her-male- friends to hang out with us. I just smiled and nodded at her, reaching my hand across the table and placing it on top of her tiny one. Thinking about it, the name sounded familiar to me. Lexi and I got to talking about everything and anything we could think of until a little white car pulled into the parking lot. Lexi rolled her eyes as she took a hit from her bowl and handed it to me and I gave her a confused look.

"That's him, finally two hours later. He was probably getting laid by his psycho girlfriend." She snickered to herself and shook her head. I glanced at the boy walking towards us and my chest tightened. I guess that the look on my face spoke what I was feeling, because Lexi started panicking.

"Mel, MEL! Are you okay? Why do you look like you're about to pass out?" Lexi shook my arm and I just smiled at her mother-like behavior.

"I'm fine, I promise. I just think I know him that's all. Nothing to be worried about." I gave her a small nod to reassure her as J approached the table and sat down on the side I was on. I lit another cigarette and just observed the two talking to each other. I wasn't much in the mood for conversation, so the fact that the two were endlessly talking was a blessing to me. J kept glancing at me, and finally after his fourth cigarette he spoke directly to me.

"I know you from somewhere, you're really familiar..." there was a brief pause and I silently nodded, as I had been through most of their conversation with each other anyways. Suddenly alight-bulb went off and he put two and two together. "Ah, yeah, Westland Hills. Neighbors, right." He didn't pay much attention to me, but he definitely kept looking at me. As grateful as I was that he didn't want to converse with me much, I was also slightly disappointed. I hate conversing with people, this is true, but J was different and he had always been special to me. Of course he was a decent amount older than me, currently I'm 17 and he's 21, but I had always crushed on him a little. I mainly stared into the highway that was behind the park for the rest of the time that we were there until I decided to leave. I let Lexi know that I was leaving and made my way to my truck, satisfied yet disappointed at the same time. My hands gripped the steering wheel and I started my journey back home. So many thoughts and emotions filled me and for once in what seemed like forever I finally felt again, and that scared me. I hadn't felt emotion for so long, not even sadness, and I knew that this wasn't going to last for long.