The Story of Candy
Although Candy was dead, she was actually alive. She had faked her death, her body stored in a zip lock bag which she used to scare people off. One day she decided to come out of hiding. When she did, the world had changed around her. Her friends and family were dead and her mother was worshipped as a Goddess of Amazingness. Scared now, Candy changed her name to Ebble.
Ebble walked around the pathway, waiting for someone to take her in, but no one did. Depressed, she tried to hitch hike, but to no success. Now infuriated, she turned crazy and tried to commit a crime so she could find a home in prison. So, she tried to rob an evil maths teacher of her maths books, and accidentally ended up killing the teacher, who will be known only as ‘Mrs. P’. The children at school were overjoyed, and Ebble became a hero.
But no one actually considered Ebble a hero so she killed herself. Then Ebble was resurrected and she hooked up with Josh Hutcherson, and they’ve been dating happily ever since. Rumour has it that Hutchy’s going to ‘pop the question’ in February. Read more in your copy of Dio Today, out every Friday at any good bookshop, dairy, petrol station or supermarket.
But this was not true – it was indeed a rumour. Instead, Ebble was dating Sonny Bill Williams because Ebble looked like his wife Hope. Then Hope found out and Hope and Ebble had a fight but then Ebble saw Dan Carter with his shirt off so hooked up with him instead. But he kicked her with a rugby ball when he saw the true Ebble – a limbless, ugly cockroach. He then cried in despair. This did not affect his rugby career.
The End
