butterfly

I promise you you won't lose me ever. I promise you that Tor-chan. Promise I now know are ment to be broken .. they are never true. Laying my head on the cool stone. Picking up a bottle of whatever and drinking. That was three months ago now.. I know it was a lie.  The pink butterfly is mine now not Tohru or Tor-chan or riceball anymore. 

Looking down at  my thining waist there laid a banget of the tatto that I got.  

"Tohru.. no.. don't do it please." Hinata begged me not to go in there to get it. "Tohru isn't my name anymore Hinata.. it  the pink butterfly and I can do what ever I want. "  I said walking past him into the shop. "Tohru you don't know what your doing.."  he pleaded. "Yeah I do. " I yelled back walking in there trying not to show how I felt.  My soccer ball necklace didn't glow anymore.. it just was there.. I already got on with his name on it. Mom let me. 

"Tohru.. please.. you have to listen to me." Hinata yelled walking in behind me. Why should I listen.. or care. Caring got me to lose someone who I cared about or heck why should I bother trying love? That only hurts too.. I staied looking  forward because I knew what I would of done.  I would  of turned around and saw someone who.. I been pushing away but needed.  I felt a hand  grabing my own. "Riceball....don't do this.. I know why you are.. your missing Anthony .. more and more because you haven't truly broken down. Please.. don't." Hinata whisper and I could hear a faint cry and pleading in his voice. Something I have never herd. Part of me wanting to run in his arms and hold him tight but the other part of me wanting to push him away.  

I shurged him off like he wasn't even there..and walked in. I thought that  would give him an idea that i didn't want to be near him.. or acted like that. But instead he just stay there. I had my new jacket that gang gave me. Since now I was the new gang leader. I had my arms tight in my sleeves from where the cuts are. Trying to hind my tears away cause a yankee leader doesn't show how one feels. They have to be strong. 

Even if it hard to do.  I looked up and saw Hinata still there not moving but not saying a word either. But he had his disappoed look on his face that I knew all to well. His once blonde hair now black hair covered his eyes to hind it. But I could Tell he was upset.  His arms were crossed looking  right at me. 

The pain hurt when they did the first stroke but to prove Hinata wrong I held in my breath and acted like it didn't hurt at all. Witch was easy because I  cut so this didn't really matter cause I couldn't feel it. 

I learn Alot since I joined this gang. I belong here not with my friends.. anyways I bet if they could they would leave me as well. Anthony was lucky he died... so he didn't have to face how broken I am.  "Yo Pink butterfly." I looked uo from all the smoke to see who was calling  my name. "Oh Hi Uo what is it?" I asked my voice was like ice to hind my true feeling. "Your friend here to see you."  She said walking past me.  Friend.. what friends.. I have none.. I walked up to the entraence of the hind out. And I saw a thinner form  and duller hair Hinata then I seen before.. and that scared me. Worried flooded though me. "H-hina-chan?" I whispered hopping he could hear me. I was scared what happen.. I ran up to him. 

"Hina.. it me Tohru.. what wrong?" I ran up to him hugging him. He looked lost heart broken. "What  happen you alrght?" I let my trueself out  for once. Tohru.. he's gonna leave you like the rest has. That single strand of thought ran  though my head. No.. Hina.. is my twin.. right..