Suicidal

prolouge

"Maybe you should just kill yourself"

The words repeated in my head over and over again as if i should listen to them because it knew i wasn't worth it ..because no one would even care ..no one would even notice.

I looked to my left, picked up the knife and walked to my window.. because for the last time i wanted to relax, maybe for just a moment maybe a second but all i wanted to do was hear nothing but the breeze . No yellings , no movement , no abuse. My last change to just see the world. I walked foward and opened my window instantly smiling.

But then i remembered their screams their judgement and their faces. I could feel tears starting to form and i quickly closed my eye so they wouldnt escape. I raised the knife that was in my hand and held it against my stomach.

The time grew slower and my hands got shakier. I couldn't stop staring at the knife .. i wanted it to poke me to go through me ,to move .. but it couldnt .. i couldnt

more tears started slidding down my face and i soon let go of it. I watched as the knife fell glistening from the sun with a thud. I felt worthless for not being able to raise a knife and kill myself because it seemed simple

I walked to my counter and took a bottle of pills pouring them in my hand. This would be easier i thought. I walked to my window again and took in a shacky breath

"You are worthless Stephanie " i told myself and took one pill and swollowed

"You are ugly" another pills

"You are not needed" 2 more pills

"Maybe you should just kill yourself"  i grasped the handfull of pills and swallowed.

"Oh stephanie no one wants u here, so im doing this for the better" i told myself as i felt my world go black. Maybe just maybe it will be better if we are just not alive.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

So how did you think of it?

This is my first story i have ever done and im sorry for my bad grammer and spelling but please do tell me if u see any mistakes

I would love to hear some advice from you guys two

Just remember the book has just started...