Breaking the Chains That Bound Us

Aftermath & Acceptance

She is acting so weird today. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my baby, but today.... I can't help but feel like today is different. Maybe she is finally going to open up to me... 

After breakfast and fooling around in the movie theater, we head to our favorite restaurant and order all of our favorite menu items. We are both full, but we know we can't leave without dessert. She gets the white chocolate, strawberry drizzle cheesecake and I get the molten chocolate mountain brownie, topped with ice cream, whip cream and drizzled with caramel and chocolate syrup. We both love each of these, so after eating half, I pass my plate over to her and she slides hers across the table toward me. We sit in the little bistro for another 20 minutes or so since we're too full to move. 

She suggests we go to the mall and walk off all of that food. We get a couple of matching snapbacks and other little things. We mostly window shopped and I suggest stopping by the jewelry store. I feel her tense next to me, yet she agrees. I was thinking of getting her a cheesy promise ring to test out her reaction for when I propose, but now I am not so sure. I don't want her to know I sensed her hesitation so instead we awkwardly walk downstairs together. I think I will still get her something though. 

I see a tennis bracelet with her birthstone and white diamonds in it and I get it. She protests, but I know she likes it. I see it in her face when the man returns to the counter after cleaning it. I put it on her wrist and kiss her hand while bowing.

"My lady." Another kiss while she giggles and my heart rate speeds up a little more. Every time I see her smile, I can't help but smile. I know she is the love of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. There is no one else on this world that compares to her. 

She seemed to have relaxed after a little while, so I am more comfortable holding her hand as we walk back to my truck. People think it is weird seeing me climb out of my pick up in a suit on the way to court, but I don't care. I grew up a country boy and somethings will never change. I love the sound of the engine when I start my truck. I love how helpful it is when I pretend I am handy, helping friends out with construction jobs, and I love how high up I sit. One thing that I can't have is my big self climbing out of a little sports car, like my peers, looking quite literally like a clown. My truck and my stature are intimidating to most, and in my profession, I prefer it that way. 

On the ride back to our neighborhood, we make small talk and I suggest going to the park. It's a nice day and I don't want to waste it. I pull up and help Lauri down. I make extra sure that she rubs up against me so she can feel as flustered as I am. I love making her squirm. I internally smirk and grab her hand again. I love how perfectly our hands fit together. I have always thought that we were made for each other and everyday it is confirmed. 

We stroll along the water, cross the bridge, and I stop and pick her a flower. There aren't many left with the change of the season, so seeing its perfect petals and green stem make me pluck it and give it to Lauren. "A beautiful flower for my beautiful flower. It is perfect, just like you."

I see her smile, and then it fades. When she notices me looking, she pastes a somewhat fake smile on, hoping I don't notice. But I do. I pull her over to the side and sit on a nearby bench. I pull her down with me to rest on my lap. I nuzzle her neck again, like I know she loves, and I feel her breathing becoming irregular. At first I thought it was from sexual tension, but when I pull back and examine her face to discover it is from her silent crying, my heart breaks. She is in pain, going through something and I have no way of helping her. She won't let me. I do the only thing I can think of, rubbing her back and whispering how much I love her. That seems to only make her cry harder. I pull her head away from my chest and make her face me. She looks at me and I see it, fear. She figures out that I read her and she tries to distance herself from me. I wasn't having it, so I pull her back.