[C]Suicide•최보민•

1

"Love......"

"I need your love....."

"Love...."

"I need your love....."

I started to sing  'sea',the song is itself own's by my Ex Choi Bomin

I sigh while looking at my bedroom window.

"He's not coming back Y/n please hold yourself"I talk to myself

I dont even know why I sing his song's,its my routine now to sing his own compose song.

We broke up a year ago and I didnt even complain a single thing about it,maybe he's just tired being with me for a year and a half.

We were madly inlove back then but I know love its just a lies that gave people fake hopes.

"Y/n-unnie!"My baby cousin Nayun said acting cute infront of me.

Jesus she's disturbing my daydream ughh

"Yes Nayun-nie?"I asked cringing as heck

"Unnie-gaaa Nayun miss you a lot"Nayun said holding her cheeks being cute.

"Awwww Unnie miss you a lot too"I said pinching her nose

"Unnie-ahh everyone miss you,can you come back as you were before?Bomin oppa also miss you"She said looking down

"Nayun I dont understand"I said sighing

She always say this when she come to my house

"Young lady who are you talking to?!Nayun! come down here this instant!"Nayun's mom,Mrs.Lee shriek from downstair

"Haaaaaa"I sigh

Here we go again

"Coming Eomma!"Nayun ran downstair after hugging me

I dont even know why people act like I'm invinsible

I'm not dead yet but they still act like I'm dead

I felt lonely,hated,un-happy,stress and many mixed feelings

My parents

My friends

My relatives

They all think I'm invinsible,maybe its because I'm an introvert thats why they dont seem to know my existence

Suddenly,
Something inside me burns,
The feels,

Maybe I'm lack of love from people around me.

•

"Mom I'm going out to have some fresh air!"I said and as usual I got no reply from my parents.

I feel like having the urge to cry but I'm to tired to cry at this moment,I already wasted a lot of tears thinking about my self

I wore my nike shoes and started to jog around the neighborhood

I pass his house and saw him helping his sister cleaning the garden

I saw him taking a glance at me and smile at me

And the most ever suspicious things I do is smiling back at him,its just a sudden maybe he's just being kind.

"Hi............"A voice said jogging next to me,its still early in the morning so there's not really many people thats awake at this hour

I turn around and grinned looking at the person next to me

"Hi MintMint"I joke around and hit his arm

"Hey I told you not to call me that!"Bomin whisper-shout at me as I laugh

"Hmmm"I hum as we jog from the neighborhood to the park

•
After 10 minutes of jogging and strolling around Bomin and I sit on a nearby bench.

I still remember this bench,this is where we usually eat our ice-cream and talk about our day

But its the past now,I need to move on like how he did

"So how's your life Bomin?anything new?"I asked breaking the ice

"Great,never been better"He said wiping his sweat with a blue towel

"So you already have a girlfriend?"I asked looking at him

"Yeah,do you still remember the girl that usually buy ice-cream with us?"

"Ohh you mean the girl that always in a line with us?"

"Yep I'm dating her,I learn that her name is HyoJun.We've been dating for 2 weeks now"

"Ohhhh"Is the only word I can say

I dont know how to react about this..but how can he move on so fast?

By hearing this I think my heart is breaking into million of pieces

Why didnt I felt this when he wants us to break up?Why am I that slow to catch this things?

"So how's your life Y/n?"He asked as he pass me a pink towel to wipe off my sweat,how the heck does he have a towel with him?nevermind

"Fine as always"I said faking a smile looking at the ground since I found its pretty interesting to look at

"Y/n I know you're lying..."Bomin said seriously moving closer towards me

"What do you mean?I'm perfectly fine..."I said acting like everything is fine

When its not

"Y/n.....just tell me please...."Bomin beg and I cant take it anymore I just broke up infront of him

My tears are falling like a waterfall as I wipe them continuously.

A sad sigh escaped Bomin's lips as he hug me from the side and pat my back

"Bomin-ahh t-they t-they a-act l-like I-I-I'm invin-vinsible,my fam-family ma-my f-friends t-they t-think I'm invinsible w-what do I do?"I said shakingly as my tears is still flowing

"I feel lonely,no one cares about me...I feel betrayed....how can they do this to me?"I asked as I hug him back and cry on his chest soaking his shirt with my tears

"Shhhhhhh shhhhhhhh I know I know......"He said as he comforting me

I cried louder and began to hiccup

How pity is my life to show this side of me to my Ex

"Bomin-ah w-what d-do I d-do?"I asked holding both of his hands with tears in my eyes

"I dont know....but we can go to the places that you want to go to release your stress"He said bitterly

"But Bomin you have a girlfriend what will she think about us?"I said

"I can handle that"He said tucking my hair behind me

"Bomin I appreciate you're existence....."I said looking at him in the eye