I Am Not A Feminist I Am Just A Teenager (On Hold)

11. kissing and breakdown

When I got inside the car , I saw Alice's lip pulled out. It really looked laughable and I tried my best to suppress the stupid laugh that was going to come from my mouth.

Well i am really bad at acting and suppressing things so I end up laughing
She gave me a weird look . I just continued laughing.

"Who kissed you?" She wasnt shocked, I can say that, her eyes held that and I could hear it yelling at me that i -am-fucking-fuming-and-you-are-asking-me-who-kissed-me?

Maybe she never wanted to kiss that particular person, so I just kept quiet.  The journey towards the hostel was really boaring and queit. We both didn't dare to utter a word.

I really wanted to know what happened to her. So I made a deal to myself, if she would disclose about the kissing part and all shit then I would say about the encounter with the Devil. What? That just came out you know.

I went inside my room and shut the door behind me. I planned on taking a nap but then I heard a small knock on the door.

"Are you there?" Alice's voice was kinda creepy. It held sadness though. I stood from my bed and walked towards the door and opened it.

"You wanna talk about it?" I asked her, she just gulped.

"Can I come in?"

"Since when did you started being like gentle women?" I asked sarcastically.  She just rolled her eyes.

"Thanks for not asking me about it. "

Okay this is awkward. Today is totally awkward.

"Ryder kissed me . I just don't know what to say. I ...I ended up slapping him and ran from him . I just couldn't think straight you know. I uh ended a great friendship, I -"

" Hey don't cry." The thing was i felt confused . I really don't know what to do in these kind of situations. When someone cries what would you do? Cry with them ? Nope I am not planning on it. Actually seeing her cry is kinda shocking for me. I mean I never thought i would see her crying from all people.  She was that kinda badass . Who knew that this badass had an emotional heart.

Do you remember me telling you about women and their emotional behaviour , now you got proof.

I awkwardly patted on her back and said "everything will get okay "and kinda shits.  Never knew that I had to do this alone. I mean it's a big thing for me, healing a wounded person is not at all in my dictionary. It's not because I hate them or something , it's just I don't have a clear idea about it.

I have heard that Indians are practically nice people. Most of them I think, but in my case it's kinda grouchy. I mean

I have never ever tried to resolve a problem.

I have never ever tried to be like a real girl.

I have never cared about anyone.

Nor I have ever had any kind of attachment towards anyone.

But this time it just, I don't know I just wanted to crosscheck and solve the fucking tornado.

And then the words slipped from her mouth,

" I am a lesbian."