I promise ...

Chapter7 - Reality

The funeral
Taylor's P.O.V
Today is the day we are berrying my mum . The light of my life . The woman I looked up to . One of the people I loved the most . Who was taken from me . I didn't even get to say good bye ...

I look at myself in my full length mirror in my room . I'm so pale that I'm almost white there are dark purple bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep .. I can't sleep the accident just keeps replaying in my head . Then I get flashes of her screaming it's all to much .

I'm wearing a black dress that goes down to my knees with black lace sleeves that aren't to long as I still have this stupid lilac cast on my arm I have on a pair of black heels and my hair is half up half down . I pick up my phone and take a deep breath as I prepare to leave my room .
"I can do this" I whisper to myself I push my bedroom door open I slowly walk down the stairs and reach the bottom to find my two older brothers and Dad waiting by the door for me . They all look awful .
James wraps his arm around me and we all file out of the house to the cars "Come on baby sis" James says opening the car door for me . But as I get in I catch a glimpse of the Hurse the oak wood coffin is surrounded by flowers that read "Mum" and "Daughter" . A tear trickles down my cheek as I sit in the car staring out the widow .

The drive to the church feels like the longest drive of my life even though it was probably only half an hour . The car door is opened up for me and I step out and walk into the old church and sit on the front pew next to my brothers . My dad sits down next to me silent . I look down at my hands . I can't believe this is happening a million thoughts rush through my head . But they are interrupted by my name being called "Taylor" My head snaps up to see my Nana looking frail and weak as she gives me a sad smile .
"You poor poor girl" she whispers rubbing my back holding me tight as the tears trickle down my cheeks .
"I love you Nana" I whisper
"I love you too darling" she reply's and sits down on the pew next to my
James and Chase hugging each one of them first . After many Greetings from family and all telling me how sorry they are for my loss the service begins . I know they all meant well by giving me their sympathy and I know they're hurting to but not as much as me and I know nothing anyone can say will bring her back that's what hurts the most.

This was it the most horrific and hardest day of my life .
"And now we have Taylor Dean to say a few words"  My whole body goes numb my mouth goes dry . I somehow get my body to take a few steps up to the front of the church everyone's eyes on me . Waiting for my speech . I clear my throat and begin trying to already hold back the tears .
"My mum was the Best mum anyone could ever ask for . She was loving , caring and an amazing person . We were so close .." I choke out holding back a sob
"And my mum and I told each other everything she was like my best friend .. I looked up to her and confided her in everything I did and she had the best advice and always supported me and my brothers no matter what we did she gave us her unconditional and undying love" and that's when I start crying sobs wracking my body I couldn't finish my speech I had so much more left but there was no way I was going to be able to finish and that's when I look up to see Chase and James standing next to me each one having their arms over me supporting me . My big brothers . My family .
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Bright yellow lights coming towards us head on .BANG. It's like everything happened in slow motion the car flipped . Blood everywhere . Glass crashed and broke everywhere . All of a sudden I'm at the hospital then I remember  my mum . "AHHhH MUM I NEED MY MUM ! " I scream uncontrollably . Feeling sick to my stomach like I'm going to pass out and throw up at the same times . Cry and Cry . That's all I could do .

  Then I wake up sweat pouring from my face and sobs are wracking my body all of a sudden Chase bursts  through my door into my room .
"I heard you scream !" He stammers out of breath . I didn't even realise until he said that , that I was still screaming . He sat down next to me on my bed and wrapped me up in a tight hug .
"I know Taylor I know .." Chase says soothingly
"I just want her back it's been 2 weeks now and I still can't cope at all I just  want her back .." I stammer tears pouring from my eyes .
"I know we all do Taylor we all do .."