rewind

Kei

  My names Kei. I'm 17. I live in London. You know the big place in the middle of England. I have green eyes and black hair. My life has been normal so far. well you know, apart from me being an orphan never experienced a happy emotion. Only sadness, loneliness, depression, pain, hunger and the worst. Heart broken. I'm homeless. I'm suicidal. Apart from that i'm normal. Thats what my mum would of said to me. She thought I would be strong. Dad thought I would be smart. Sis thought i would be popular. They thought that all through there pain. I want to be like them. They would of taught me. Until they died. Mum in a car crash. My sis from suicide pills. My dad from being murderd. I've had it with life. At the moment i'm still scavenging through bins. So far I've found a half eaten sandwich but no drink. Well thats just my luck. As i walk on one of the many bridges in London i see just faces of people. Happy people. Families. What does it mean to be loved?

  I sit down. The only person i could call a "friend" was the drug dealer. Yes thats another thing. I'm on drugs. Was. I stopped it but i haven't had proper treatment. Lets not think about that anymore. Everyone with there perfect lives. i reach my hand to my face. Its damp. Have i been crying? How could i just be so stupid? A guy bumps into me knocking me down. Hes quite fat with a suit on. Probably well fed. Rich. Big family.

"I'm sorry mate." I said.

"Pice of shit. watch were your going you homeless trash."

His words were sharp. I just sat on the floor. Worthless. Why did it need to be this way? I stand up and walk away from the man and slip into an Allie way. I didn't know where i was anymore. I didn't care. I just sat next to the rubbish bins blending in with the cold world. I can feel my eyes stinging. Tears fall as i crunch myself into a pathetic ball. The tears steam down my face. I can't help it. I'm stupid. I'm just so weak.  Someones shouting at me. Its the man who probably owns one of the buildings here.

"We don't accept beggars here." He said trying to push me up.

"But i'm not begging at all. I'm out of the way." 

"Homeless tramps then but whatever just get out before you mess it all up." His voice cut me. 

I got up, wiped the hot tears from my face with my sleeve and started to walk down the street. I ended up crashing outside some ones door. I woke up to some one yelling in my face.

"Get out of here! No one loves you so go somewhere to die! But not here!"

"Sorry sir, I'll move." I mumbled.

"Yeah i know. Now go kill yourself!"He sneered.

I walked away. Taking his advise with me.