The Light At The Very End Of The Tunnel

My Sealed Fate

My eyes fluttered open slowly. I couldn't remember how I got to where I was. Baba, mama and Ziad where all hovering around my apparently sick bed. Baba looked so stricken. Mama was crying silently into her scarf. Ziad was holding her.

'I'm okay Baba' I whispered. My voice sounded hoarse.

Baba said nothing. He simply took my hand and brought it to his lips.
'forgive me habibaty' he said as tears began to spill from his eyes.  I knew where his grief was emanating from. He couldn't take me to a hospital. Not could he buy me drugs. I felt sad too.
And that was when I remembered. The reason why I had an attack in the first place. My parents were going to sell me off to God knows where. My heart hurt. I thought they loved me. I never asked for more than they could give me.

'Menna.... ' Mama said sniffing.

' You don't have to tell me. I know. ' I said calmly looking away.

Baba and Mama exchanged looks. Suddenly Baba stood up and took mama's hand dragging her out of the tiny bedroom. Ziad took the space on my bed where Baba had vacated.
' it's not the worst thing that could happen you know' He said nervously
I couldn't say anything. My throat felt constricted. Like a huge ball was obstructing my oesophagus. No wonder that woman kept emphasizing on my beauty. Was she a Madam or something. The walls were thin. Zaid and I could hear them arguing.

'Over my dead body Dina. I'm not selling my daughter! ' he shouted

'She's my daughter too. And if you would stop and listen... ' she retorted hurriedly

But Baba was too angry to listen.

'Is that why you never told me? You are her mother for God's sake!'

'Don't you dare Nile. We need this. We are going to starve if we don't.... ' Mama burst into tears again.

'Nile....  I'm pregnant' She sobbed.

The whole house went quiet. Baba stopped pacing. Ziad's mouth gaped open in shock. We can't afford a baby. Babies meant money. Way more money than we can afford. My fate was sealed.

'Nile'Mama begged.

'Their family is the most prestigious in the country. And for some reason, they want her.'

'But Nadeem, she's just seventeen. She deserves to fall in love.... She's only... ' For the first time in a long time, Baba was crying.

I sat up and tried to stand on my wobbly legs. I felt so tired. Slowly, Zaid helped me out the door into the living room. As soon as mama saw me, she dissolved into howling again.

'Baba' I said weakly. 'It's okay. I'll do it'

'No habibaty. Baba will get another job. You don't have to marry anyone'

'Marriage? 'I asked confused.

'Habibaty' mama began. 'it's a good family. You would have a good life'
So it wasn't what I thought after all. Understanding dawned on me. Washing over me like raindrops. I was only going to be married to a complete stranger. An old man with a pot belly as huge as his gold came immediately into my mind. I didn't feel better. I felt worse even. I was still being sold off. By my very own mother. I wanted to scream. But I needed strength to even do that. I was not angry. I felt defeated. I wanted to blame Mama. But I didn't have the heart to. I sank into the only sofa apart from Baba's armchair on the living room. Silent tears fell down my cheeks.

'Habibaty' Mama whispered stretching her hands towards me.

'Don't' I said devoid of any emotion. It was as though I had slapped her. She recoiled covering her face with her hands crying.

'She hates me' She said into her hands. I didn't hate my mother. But I let her believe that. For now at least. I walked back to my room and fell into bed crying.