Invisible Girl

Don the look at meeee please

March 17

I walked passed you. You didn't see, I'm invisible.

I waved at you, you didn't care, I'm invisible.

No one ever sees me, I'm invisible, no one ever hears me. No one ever cared about me. I never matter to anyone, and everyone thought I didn't exist. People say I don't have emotions, but they don't have a clue what goes through my head.

March 18

You do know who I am, right? I mean I've known you for a while now. Or do you still have no clue who I am,or are you blind like the rest? I can't help but to look at you and hope you'll look at me and smile. I can't help but to think about you, I can't but to wonder how you've been, what's been going on in your life. If you are still okay. If you will ever want to talk to me again. Everything has changed, from the way you look to the way you talk. You're not the same. Yes, I know not everything can't stay the same, and yes, I know that I've changed too, but sometimes I wish that everything stayed the same. Time is brutal. It takes what you love and changes it so you're not sure what to do. You've changed. When you talk to your friends I become invisible, I'm not a human anymore. I'm something completely different. Like I don't matter anymore, or I ever mattered, like if I'm the girl who died last December, who no one cared nor knew. I'm I that to you? Am I that girl? When I'm around you I just want to talk to you, be with you. But when you're with your friends you just aren't you, or at least the you that I know. Yet again, change isn't always a bad thing... but of course when things change for me they're always bad. Nothing ever stays the same. All the happy and wonderful things, the fun and beautiful memories it's just too perfect to change, you can't change it.

I love talking to you, I love seeing what you're doing. I love knowing that you're fine, everything's fine.

March 19

Hey... we talked. It's been more than 2 months since we've talked, do I still matter? I walked with you to class. We took the "short way". It's the longer why and you knew it. You said, "I haven't talked to you in a while, nor seen you... I want to talk to you... that's why I'm walking with you...". Does this mean you care? Does this mean I matter. I always thought you were more than just a name to me. But I... I have never been a name... I've always been less. Just a figment of a thought.

I guess I have become less important to you since the last time I saw you. I don't matter anymore. It still hurts but the pain has lessen. I cared about you so much, yet you never knew... I tryed to take care of you, but by doing that I hurt myself. I wanted you to know what you meant to me. At least you know that I tried to help, at least you knew I was there when you needed me.

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Existence~

What does it mean anymore? I clearly don't exist to your eyes. I am invisible. The voice repeat in my head : You're invisible...You don't matter... you're nothing..."

I am invisible girl. No one ever sees...

But it's not such a bad thing... I can be good... maybe?

I like being left alone

I hate it when people talk to me

I hate it when no one will leave me alone

I hate it when people touch me

I hate it when people pretend I don't exist

I hate it when I have to try new things

I hate it when everyone stares