Forgotten Souls

Chapter 20: I Know You're Happy, But What Do I Do?

I was about to leave the gallery when I noticed Zaylee standing on the balcony of her studio. She had her back to me, but even so I could tell that she was crying. I knew how her body trembled when she was crying so I immediately knew that something upset her. Maybe she didn’t want to see me again and I just ruined her night completely.

Without thinking twice about it, I strode towards her and took a tissue out from my pocket. She looked shocked that I was offering her a tissue, as if she didn’t want me to know that she was crying, but then she tentatively reached for the tissue and started dabbing it under her eyes.

“What’s wrong ba- Zaylee? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.. I just.. didn’t think it would hurt this much you know?”

What was hurting her? Would she tell me if I asked her? Does she want me to pull her into my arms and comfort her as much as I want to do so? So many questions were running through my head. Deciding to ask anyway, I pull her and softly into mine and ask her  what’s been on my mind with pleading eyes.

“What’s hurting you Zaylee? I didn’t know you were the artist Zee was talking about.. I’m sorry if I upset you by coming here. If I had known, I probably would have told her to come alone.. Oh who am I kidding, I would have been here earlier had I known you’d be here. Just to see your beautiful smile again.”

“Braydon.. you can’t say things like that to me..”

“Why not baby girl? It’s the truth.. or is this about that Jeremy guy? I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He is in love with you.”

“What? No! Of course this isn’t about him. I’ve never been interested in him and I never will be. My heart is.. is not available. You can’t say things like that to me because you have a girlfriend who clearly loves you dearly..”

“You think Zeya and I are together?”

“Well aren’t you? I mean you’re living together and I can see the adoration you have for her.. So yeah..”

“Zaylee.. Zeya is my sister.. I found out five months after you left that my dad had a baby with another woman 3 years after my birth, but the lady fled before my dad could get to know his daughter so for 22 years he was searching for her until I found her at a ca.. her working place. We immediately clicked as if we were siblings so I decided to have her meet my parents to see their reaction to this and then the truth came out.”

“Wow.. Braydon.. I didn’t know.. I’m happy for you.”

“I know you’re happy.. but what do I do?

“What do you mean Braydon?”

“Every masterpiece I’d write again, you’ll always be my porcelain. I crossed my heart but I stuttered too, so truth or dare, was I good to you? I haven’t had enough of you all to myself, still I want to be right beside you in sickness and in health. Forever after you will be my home, and there’s no place like home.” I say to her, quoting her favorite songs of Marianas trench.

Before she could reply to what I was saying, Jeremy came and dragged her away from me. Not literally, but that’s how it felt. She gave me a sad look, before following behind Jeremy. I can’t believe I just said all of that to her.. I wanted her to say it back so badly that I didn’t think about how much it would hurt me if she doesn’t say it back to me.

So with one last glance at her, laughing with her friends, I softly whisper into the air before driving off “I thought I saw a sign, somewhere between the lines. Or maybe it’s me. Maybe I only see what I want.”

We didn’t return home straight away. Since it had been a long night, Zeya and I agreed that we should crash at a hotel and then we could drive home in the afternoon. She was half asleep when we got to the hotel at around 3 A.M. and as much as I wanted to sleep, I couldn’t get the beautiful girl that was once mine, from my mind.

“Good night B. I saw you with the artist by the way, I told you she’s gorgeous. Anyway, I want to know if you guys hit it off.. Please tell me about it tomorrow alright?”

“Sure Zee.. Good Night. I love you sis, sleep well.”

“Love you too bro. See you in the morning, God willing.”

We then head to our separate rooms. I sat on my balcony for hours, and just as I saw the sun starting to rise, I get a text message.

I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye. Again. It really was great seeing you again after two years Braydon. Keep well. I hope one day you can be happy again. – Zaylee

There was so much I wanted to tell her at that moment. I wanted to tell her that I miss her and that I want her to come back to me. I wanted to tell her that I still love her more than anything. I wanted to tell her that seeing her,  made me happier than I had been in this entire two years. But of course I didn’t say any of that. I was too cowardly to do so.

I understand completely. You had other people to get to. It was really great to see you too. Have a splendid day.

I decided not to say more than that. If she wanted to continue talking to me, then she would text me again. If not, then I’ll just have to learn to live without her again, as much as it would pain me to do so. I can’t force her to want me back in her life after I am the one who pushed her away in the first place.

I stood up from the chair on the balcony and went to take a nice warm shower. After the shower I decide to take a nap for few hours. It was already 6A.M. and I was starting to feel like a zombie from being awake so long. The minute my head hit the pillow I was asleep. I woke up again at about 1 P.M. feeling more refreshed after the nap.

After ordering room service and having a proper meal, I decided to see if Zeya is ready to go. We still had a long drive back home and if want to have a good night’s sleep before work then I sure did need to get going soon. Knock, Knock

“Hey sis, it’s me. You ready to leave or not yet?” I ask through the door, hoping for an answer. Not even a minute later she swings the door open looking bright and fresh. At least she looks like she got more sleep than I did.

“Sure B. I’m ready to go, besides I think you have an artist to tell me about if I remember correctly.”

She sticks out her tongue to me as we started walking to the front desk to pay for the night that we spent there. “Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses. I’ll tell you everything on the way back home. I think we’re going to need that much time for me to explain to you how the artist and I will never happen.”

“Come on B! You guys clicked, I could see it. I saw the way you looked at her bro, you looked smitten, so please tell my why it will never happen. Is it because of Zaylee?”

I ignore the question until we get into the car and I start driving. I sigh and slowly start telling her the truth about the artist. “No sis, it’s not because of Zaylee. It’s because it is Zaylee.”

“What do you mean bro? you’re making no sense..”

“Zee.. The artist is Zaylee. My beautiful ex is the artist that just sold all of your paintings for you.”

She keeps quiet for a while and then her eyes widen with realization. “So she’s still alright? And you guys spoke? Wow bro, did you guys come to a closure or anything after last night? Do you have her number?”

“Slow down Zee, please. I didn’t get much sleep. Yes she seems to be still alright. Yes we spoke. No, I have never found so lost before. Everything in me is screaming for me to turn back and demand her to give me another chance. And lastly, yes I do have her number. I won’t be contacting her unless she contacts me first though.”

She grabs my phone, and I can see her playing games on it. She’s such a child at times, but I know she is just trying to give me space to breathe and think about what transpired the previous night.

“Uh.. B.. about you texting her if she texted you.. yeah she totally just sent you a text message..”