Seventh Grade (Marc)
Chapter 5 —
SEVENTH GRADE
MARC
I walked into class and took my seat. My year and the ones before had been difficult and school had become a kind of escape for me. I wasn’t a delinquent as most of my teachers liked to believe, I studied and kept my grades up. I wanted a good future for myself and I wasn’t some idiot who would deny myself that luxury by avoiding school.
Mr. Belisle was assigning partners for the chemistry project. I just didn’t want to get paired with a chatty chick otherwise I had no preferences.
“Alright, and Marc you will be partnering up with Brielle for this project.”
I looked to see who this “Brielle” was and was pleasantly surprised. She was a pretty looking chick but what made me smile was because I had noticed her a few times in the past; she was quiet. This project would go smoothly. Although by the look on her face and the suddenness she got out of her seat, I believe she didn’t feel the same way.
I ignored her expression and sat down. She finally plopped back down to Earth and turned the most adorable shade of red. I instantly found her cute. The class started to laugh at her and though I didn’t like it; I couldn’t help but softly chuckle at her expression.
We were both quiet at first. I talked a bit and realized she was more comfortable with discussing the project. I didn’t want to frighten her away, so I obdurately stuck to my decision of keeping things “professional” between us. I thought I had made a wise decision at first, but over the course of the project my opinion changed. We started spending so much time together; at least it had felt that way. I didn’t spent time with anyone but myself. Yes, that does involve “self-abuse” but that’s not what I’m referring to. My mental conversations had also suffered a rapid increase; almost always revolving around Brielle. I had developed a crush and I just didn’t have the balls to do anything about it. She was extremely beautiful, smart, innocent and just fucking perfect. I knew she couldn’t ever fall for a guy like me and I didn’t think I could bare anymore rejection. Not after mom and dad.
I was dreading the last day of our partnership. I was up all night tossing and turning. I had to think of something, something to say. How could I tell her I liked her? It was all very complex to me. In the end I stayed up all night with Brielle-induced insomnia.
When third period, Chemistry, came around I was unreservedly hopeless. Worse than that was the fact that I knew I was a mess. I kept grabbing at my hair throughout the morning and I probably had blood-shot eyes. I knew I looked like a scary son of a bitch, a thug and nothing else.
By the end of the class we were the only ones left. All that was left were our goodbyes then we’d go our separate ways. I hated goodbyes; I couldn’t stay there any longer so I just got up and left. After that I started seeing her a lot at school, apparently she was in a lot of my classes as well. I unintentionally started to watch her and it came to a point where I needed to watch her, to stalker her. But I knew it was creepy and it just made me feel more worthless. She caught me watching her in the hallways a few times too; I felt so ashamed that I’d quickly look away and give myself a verbal beating. I tried my best to be discreet after that, hiding myself amongst a group of guys, sitting behind her at the movies or on the bleachers. She was becoming increasingly difficult to stalk. It felt as if she was one step ahead of me and at times she was so difficult to find. Did she know I was stalking her? I hope she did; it would make me feel existent, like I was real to someone.
