Chain Reaction (On Hold)

Chapter IV

-- I included a song, listen to it, para damang dama! :)

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!*

Ana was back to reality by the loud horn of a car. She could have died! She manouvered the car to avoid the other car quickly. Her heart was racing! Why, of all times, does those memories have to come back to her. She parked her car on one side of the road, a side where she's safe. And there. She let herself be weak. She let the tears fall down non stop while bowing her head on the steering wheel. Her shoulders were shaking. That's how hard she's crying. You can hear sobs. Having remembered what happened that night brought back all the pain. Once again, she felt very broken. Her heart shattered into million of pieces.

When she thought she was fine already, she continued driving. Trying so hard to focus on the road. She doesn't want to die. And what happened just a while a go was very close encounter to an accident.

She arrived home, opened all the lights. Yes, she opened all the lights. She wanted to see the whole house. This day, marks the exact day when her husband left her. It's been two damn years since he left her!

She went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and a goblet. She went to her grand piano. Ah yes, her piano. That was a gift from her husband. Why does everything have to remind her of him?! It's killing her! How long will she endure this pain?

She took out some papers out of the piano. Written on those papers was the song she wrote. She never had the courage to look at them. She may have wrote it. But seeing the lyrics reminded her of how broken she was. She worked on that for a month. She sings and play instruments. It hurts her that even one of her passions have to remind her of him. That's how they met, through music. They both had this love for music. They met in a music lounge slash restaurant. Again, the memory broke her heart.

She poured some wine in her goblet and drank it like water. She didn't mind the bitterness, because what she felt right now was pure pain. She ordered herself to be strong ever since he left. She can't be weak. What will be left of her if she allowed herself to be weak? She had nothing left when he left her.

She drank another glass of wine. Atleast that night she wanted to forget. She can't bare it anymore. She drank another after the other. She drank and she drank until the bottle was half empty. She took the papers and placed them where she could read it.

She started playing the piano it was a sad melody. After the intro, she tried to sing.

"Pictures in my pockets are faded from the washer

I can't barely just make out your face

Food you save for later in my refrigerator

It's been too long since later never came

I know, one day, eventually,

Yeah, I know, one day I'll have to let it all go

But I'll keep it just in case.

Yeah, I'll keep it just in case--"

She wasn't able to continue, ni hindi nga siya umabot sa kalahati. She broke down and cried. It was just too much for her to bare. Her sobs were very audible. She cried and she cried. Why did he have to leave?! He left without even talking to her! When he left, it was not just him who she lost. She also lost something very very precious inside of her. Why is he so unfair?!

When they got married, she thought it will last forever. Sure, they got married at an early age of 22. But their marriage was true, it was not forced or anything. They both decided on it. Therefore, their marriage was real. She's certain that they both loved each other. But why? Why did he say that he made a wrong decision? That's what she can't understand. And now, she's the one suffering! She's been suffering for 2 years. How long will she endure this?

She was just sitting there, nakatungo ang ulo niya sa piano habang umiiyak. 2 years. Will he ever come back? Is it game over? Siya na lang ba yung patuloy na umaasang maaayos sila? What if, para lang pala siyang nag-aantay ng eroplano sa bus stop? In other words, impossible na to happen.

She cried and cried. It's the first time she cried for a long time. This was her moment of weakness. She feels like dying.

"A-ayoko na." She said between her sobs. "Ken... Why.. Did... You... Leave.. Me!" She was having a hard time finishing her sentence.

"Bakit ba ayaw maubos nung luha!!" She was really frustrated. "Ayoko na.." She said very weakly. She might look insane talking there alone. She took another glass of wine. And another. But why doesn't it ease the pain? She took another and one more until there was nothing left.

She stood up, although she was dizzy because of the alcohol she had taken. She must have taken too much, because she was really dizzy. She didn't mind that woozy feeling. She tried to stand up, when she succeeded, she took the bottle and glass. But she didn't have any control. Due to diziness, she fell on the floor! All you could here was glass breaking. The glass she was once holding was nothing but a shattered glass now, including the bottle. She fell... She remembered again. She fell.. When Ken pushed her, she fell. The memory came back to her again. And for the nth time. She cried and she cried. Tears flowing non-stop. She cried while lying on the floor. She felt nothing but pain. She looked so pathetic. If anyone would see her, they'll think she's crazy. She just let her tears fall, thinking na pag iniyak na niya lahat, baka mawala na yung sakit. She stayed like that for a long moment, until she lost consciousness.

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