Honey

6 Month

It's been 6 month since we broke up. I didn't know it was this long, but i hope it was longer.

To be honest, 6 months without you feels like 2 years has pass by. And here we are still standing in the same planet, same country, same city, but different places.

I remember the day i said "I want to break up, i can't do anymore of this sin" takes 4 heavy breathing and 20 seconds of silence before i actually said those words to you.

I was holding back my tears.

I promise to myself i wont shed a tears that day.

I was trying to be happy and let you go wholeheartedly.

You're reaction was...
So-so.

"Okay, if thats what you want."

I know your answer gonna be that and i expect that answer. I am really grateful until know that you are supportive of my decision and understand me. But why do my heart break when i hear you answer that?

After we finish getting our food we head out and go home.

In that moment, i break my promise. The promise that i made to myself.

I cry in your back while leaning to your shoulder. I cry so hard i don't know if you can hear it or if the motorcycle sound so loud that you can't hear my crying. But i wish you don't.

I cry while still smelling your scent, my favorite scent that calms me, that could immediatly put a smile on my face, i love your jacket with your scent on it and then i wear it so i could smell your scent all day. But that day the scent smells so lonely to me , so sad, and i just think that this is probably the last time i could smell this scent from you.

Rather than embracement it was more of lonelyness,
Rather than protection it was more of a painful feeling.

As you focus on the road, your hand controlling the motorcycle wheel, my head was restin in between your neck and shoulders, sobbing non stop, my hand was on your stomach holding onto your body, hugging like my last hug would be. Like i wouldn't want to let you go....

And i don't actually...