Whatever I Plan to Write

Story 1: Field of Colors

August 26, 2017. I was 18 at the time and got accepted into Woodbridge University, located in Maple City. It has been the college of my dream but the campus was so plain. The leaves are gray and lost their green color. Everything was gray. I took a step past the tall gates decorated with posters that say: "Welcome back, Tigers!" I greet the people who greeted me and continued towards my dorm to settle down first before heading to class. "Oh look who it is," a voice shouted from behind me. I took a deep breath and turned around. "What," I replied in a deep tone ready to defend myself from whatever attack is thrown at me. "Jesus Christ, Helen, calm down. It's just me, Patt, from chemistry in 10th grade," he laughs as he took a few steps in my direction. "Oh hey!," I smile and wave. "It's been a while since I've seen you," he stated while giving me a hug.

Now a little background about Patt. He was a huge nerd back in 10th grade. Like Kpop wise. He's pretty tall and, I have to admit, I liked him a little back then. His hair was a hazelnut brown color and his eyes were a jade green shade. His personality is amazing. Not only he was funny, he's also supportive of his friends and is very loyal. It was the best thing ever. He has a girlfriend, Chelsea, who was the head of the cheerleading group. I hated the guts out of her. But as long as he is happy, I'm happy. We talked a lot and still continued to talk after he started dating Chelsea. But that was in 10th grade. We are a freshman in college now. I still kind of like him but not that much.

"What classes do you have?" he asked me as he stepped away from the hug. "First is choir, second is nursing, third is drama, fourth is history, fifth is language arts, and sixth is math," I replied. "Teachers?" he asked and I gave him my schedule. It did not take him long to read it before he cried out, "WE HAVE THE SAME CLASSES!" "Oh my God, really?!," I replied in a calm tone. He nods and the bell rings. He took me by the hand and dragged me with him. "Wait! I didn't even have the chance to stop by my dorm to greet my roommates!," I screamed. "Whatever Helen, let's go or we'll be late!." Patt laughs as he continues to pull me towards building A. As classes went on, I found that he's been staring at me for quite a while. I waved at him during lecture and he snapped out and began to laugh. I shook my head and began to feel embarrassed. I've never had someone stare at me that way before. I'm pretty sure we had gotten closer. He was more talkative than I remembered and, certainly, he was a bit more... loud. Lunch arrived and I waited for Patt. "Hey best friend," he stood next to me with his arms around my shoulder. "Hello to you, too, Patty Cake," I laughed. We went to get lunch and skipped last period. "Rebel much?," I asked as he pulled me away to a tree. "I've always done this with Chelsea," he nods.

It was at this moment when something inside me told me that this was not okay. If he was going to take me somewhere, at least take me to a place where he has not done it with someone else. But I went with the flow. We both sat down and stared at the sky. My head was on his arm and my hand was on his chest. "Wait... What am I doing?," I asked myself 5 minutes into the chill session. I began to move and Patt said, "Don't do that... I like it this way." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I scooted closer to him. It was the best and worst feeling in history. I closed my eyes to relax and eventually, I took a nap. I woke up to him by my side. This wasn't under the tree. This wasn't my dorm room. But thank God my clothes were still on. My eyes shot opened and I sat up. "Okay, we shouldn't be doing this." "Helen," he said also sitting up. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it. "I'm sorry," he said before I stormed away with my things.

Months pass and I hear nothing from him. We look at each other in classes but we never talked. Even the look made it worse. His eyes were full of regret and mines were cold and harsh. I never wanted to talk to him again and I'm pretty sure he did not want to talk to me. I go on being alone and studying like every good girl should do. He should be good without me. I walked out of last period and he stood by the doorway. "Probably skipped again," I thought. I walked past him but he grabbed my wrist. "Let me go," I hissed. "Come with me," he said as he dragged me somewhere. I resisted but his grip was too strong. He was too strong. "I said let me go," I screamed. Everyone in the hallway was staring at Patt dragging me like a stubborn cat down the hallway of Building F. Eventually I pulled away and stood still. "What the hell do you want? First, you drag me to a spot where it reminded you of your ex-girlfriend and then you probably carried me to your house. What next?" I confronted him. He stood 5 feet away from me and he looked at the floor. "Just come with me," he said as he ran to grab my wrist again. I pulled my hand away and walked in the opposite direction from him.

More days and months pass then it was the end of the year. At this time, I tried so hard not to admit that I liked him. But the same thing continued. I approached him at the end of class and told apologized. After I told him my apology he took my hand and intertwined our fingers. "Let me take you somewhere that is not my house or the tree that reminds me of Chelsea," he said in a gentle voice that was on the point of breaking. I nod and we both walk together with our hands still intertwined. He led me to the top of Building A when the sun was just about to set. There, he set up a small picnic for just two people. He walked me to the site and noticed that there was a silhouette of someone sitting. It was a girl and she turned around. It was Chelsea. She smiled at Patt but stared blankly at me. Then she burst out laughing, "You think you can get him? Oh please, you're too weak for everything. You have no sympathy or love in that tiny little heart of yours." Patt looks at Chelsea and nods. Patt breaks away from me and joined Chelsea's side. They both picked on me as they watched me crumble to the ground. I quickly wanted to find a way to escape, so I ran to the edge. They laughed too hard and pushed me to the ground. I finally saw the lights rushing by me before everything blacked out.

I opened my eyes to a colorful paradise. I stood up and I found myself in a white dress. I looked around at the fascinating trees that were the summer green color. Blossoms filled them with pastel-like colors of pink, blue, and lavender. The grass was green, the fields were green with sprinkles of yellow and red. I smile and then run around. Everything was okay for once. I did not see gray anymore. But stopped when I found a sidewalk. Everything beyond that point returned to gray. I saw an ambulance and police cars surrounding someone. I inched closer and saw me covered in blood. I've died from the fall. But the building was only one story high, I surely can make it without dying! I squinted my eyes and saw a knife located where my heart was. "No.. no this can't be... I didn't want to die! I wanted to escape from those idiots!," I screamed to myself. I kneeled in front of my body and watched the paramedics cover me with a white cloth. Across from me were my family. My mom, dad, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and family friends. Next to them were my ex-friends. They all seem to be crying their heart out. "I'm right here!," I yelled. "Mom, Dad, Ellie! Carl... Maria... It's me, Helfen! I'm right across from you," I screamed but they never looked up.

I wanted to run away. But I also wanted to get revenge. I wanted to watch Patt and Chelsea suffer from what they did. So, I haunted the streets on the gray side. After a while, I've gotten tired of trying to plan revenge and decided to retreat to the paradise where I was first put. There, I finally felt fulfilled but empty.