I'm tired of being the second choice.
Can't I ever be someone's first choice?
Can't they look through everything that I claim to be and still say they appreciate me?
Am I really as much of a mess and a burden as I think? Am I this unattainable screwed up mess that it seems to be that I am? Am I this worthless? I'm unimportant. I'm broken. A loss cause. Are people only here because they want to give me charity? Or pity? Yeah the girl who had her worst nightmare confirmed needs comforting, quick let's all pretend she means something. But she doesn't. She's still this hurricane of jealousy, self hate, sadness, and anxiety. Would I be first choice if I wasn't like this? Would someone understand that I can't help this? I just want to die. No matter how many times people tell me it's not worth it, it doesn't change my thoight process. I'll still wake up a broken excuse for the human I used to be.
I just want to be your first choice.
Not your "I'll take what I can get"
Because I want to be so my more than I feel
Can anyone, anywhere, please make me feel human again?
All my closet friends don't talk to me anymore
Heck one is dead and it's killing me.
This world is not made for me.
I
Want
Out
This is the end of my story.
