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A. OPENING
The first word that comes to mind when I read the prologue's opening line is melancholy. I can detect the underlying sadness even if the narrator conveys that the characters have their own share of happy moments,
What makes this work for me is the variety of emotions that I experienced, which in turn proves that the MC has depth and complexity.
The endings in both prologue and chapter 1 have piqued my interest.
On the technical aspect, here are some areas to consider:
1) Narrative tense –Use the past tense of the verb when describing an event that took place in the past.
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From the image above, the narrator is clearly relaying an event in the MC's past. Therefore, the tense should be in the past.
2) Flashback – I was trying to recall if I had read books with a flashback in the prologue, but I came out empty handed. What I encountered most were events from the protagonist's past written as a normal narrative.
