Densi - Amar não é pecado (It's not a sin to love)

Confessions

Chapter 1

Kensi was sitting on her desk in the office. The team had just finished a case and everyone went home after, except Kensi. She had loads of paper work to do because she didn't have time to do it while her undercover assignment. But all she could think of was Deeks. She knew that he had feelings for her but she didn't. That was the problem. Marty Deeks was totally in love with her. She still couldn't believe that a man like him was in love with her. A handsome, shaggy surfer with baby blue eyes. He was indeed handsome, that she had to admit, but she didn't love him like he loved her. Her love for him was only in a platonic way, not more. Okay, maybe she liked him a little bit too much but not so much that she actually wanted to be together with him. Kensi thought a lot about how to tell him this exact thing. But she didn't know how because she cared so much about him and the last thing she wanted was to hurt him. But there wasn't a way without pain. It would really hurt his pride but she had to tell him. She couldn't bear it anymore, this tension everyday. He wanted to know how she felt and tonight she would tell him. Her decision was made.

When Kensi arrived at Deeks's place she stopped her car and turned the engine off. After a brief moment she exited the car and walked slowly towards the front door. There she stopped. From inside she could hear the TV blurring. Kensi hesitaded but after a few minutes she knocked on the door.

"It's open Kensalina!"

Deeks yelled. While entering the apartment she wondered how he knew it was her.

"I recognized you by the sound of your car engine in case you are wondering."

he explained and stepped closer while smiling his cocky Deeks smile. Kensi stepped back.

"Deeks, don't!"

She said and turned around quickly so that he couldn't see the tears rolling down her cheek.

"Kensi, please, I don't want to hide my feelings anymore. I want to be with you."

he confessed. Kensi was shocked. She knew about his feelings for a long time now but it was different to actually hear it out loud. That must've been really hard for him to say. The fact that she would probably break his heart in a few seconds made her cry even harder.

"Deeks.."

She sobbed and fell into his arms. He hugged her tightly and it looked like he would never let go of her.

"What is it Kens?"

his voice full of concern. Her tears kept flowing until there was nothing left. Deeks sunk down on the couch, his partner still in a tight embrace.

"Deeks, I have to tell you something.."

She began to tell him about her feelings and that she didn't want to be more than partners. When she finished Deeks' face went pale. He promptly let Kensi go and stood up.

"I'm sorry, believe me, I didn't want to hurt you.."

she began but Deeks interrupted her.

"The person I care about most on this planet just told me she didn't love me and I'm not supposed to be hurt? No Kensi, that's not possible."

It was his turn now to fall into Kensi's arms. She had never seen him cry before. After 10 minutes of crying he looked up and put a vague smile on his face.

"Thank you for telling me how you feel, Kens. I still can't believe that I thought you would.. You know.."

She tried to smile but she couldn't. It broke her heart to see her partner in such pain.

"I should go now."

She hugged him one last time before she stood up and walked towards the door.

"Kens, please stay! Don't leave me alone."

Deeks begged, his eyes filling with tears once again.

"I'm sorry.."

She whispered and left the apartment without looking back.